this service would be nice, but the government wouldn't pay for someone to do this, (they have no money don't ya know..only for what they want to use it for) maybe senior citizens, lawyers or who ever that might want to donate their time....

Nicker, did you check in your area? We have an agency where I live, funded by the county, & headed up mainly by retirees who have an expertise in different fields which would be helpful to seniors & widows & widowers. They charge no fees & if they cannot help you, they will direct you elsewhere. They are so helpful & a very big plus in our community.

I found a charity in the Uk that specifically helped the bereaved deal with persistent mail outs to deceased partners - I was astounded to find something so specialist and even though I eventually didn't need them because Interflora finally got the message, it was a real comfort to know they were there and sympathetic.

The morturary I used gave me a list of things that needed to be handled and some information. Even still, the actual doing it was apinful and frustrating. Things like taking his name off a bill and having it put in mine brought me to a point where I said forget it. There was too much s**t to go through, new deposits...never mind I will kkeep them in his name...I signed and sent the checks anyway...sorry..venting...I have also been helped here with information.

Many churches have something like that for their menbers...as well as some legal help usually through a lawyer that belongs to the church. The government isn't going to give anything to anyone that really needs it...so we have to do what we have to do...like get on the interney for somewhat of an answer. There was something in our church news letter about free tax help for seniors through AARP if this would help anyone.

Celia

The mortuary took care of the pension situation and sent the death certificate to OPM for me. It was wonderful to have someone look out for my interests. I have spoken to the financial officer at the mortuary several times since and she has been kind and helpful. I was glad to have someone intervene on my behalf. Judith

I have often thought about writing a book of thinggs that need to be done upon the death of a spouse. I was at a lose also. I didn't have any friends or family that had lost a spouse so,I just had to muddle through it one day at a time. It would be nice to have some outside help when this happens

I agree with you. There may be help out there, but it's never in one place. Your local government may have services to help you keep your house, for instance, through their housing programs, but who would think of that? Especially when you're so wracked up you can barely get through the day. If I had been a senior citizen when Cliff died, I might have qualified for more services or assistance, but I was only 50. Even my older friends still had their husbands, so I didn't have anybody to tell me what I was supposed to do. I had to figure it all out on my own.

I was lucky because I worked in the law and at the time was working for a government legal department, so my bosses gave me advice. It helped not to be intimidated by bureaucracies!

Love and Hugs, Martha

My husband died out of state, was cremated there so I did not go through any mortuary, but one place for all of the steps a remaining spouse has to take care of immediately, eventually, and help for them especially there should be an place that helps those who now have diminished funds to help them refinance say their home and this service is only for those who are lost their spouses to help them carry on without losing their homes and life style so drastically.

The regular govt services like you say are losing funds etc but something. SOMEONE write a book WIDOWHOOD 101 or for dummies.

Although being a widow does not make you dumb just dumbfounded.

Right after my husband's death, I made a list of all the things I needed to do. Added to it as I went along. Still checking off items on it. I did on-line searches and found several helpful sites. I also purchased a book, Widow to Widow. There are many good books out there. But, yes, it would be nice if there was a ready-made list that we could follow while in those numb and dazed first days.

I agree. I went through this at age 50...and cannot fathom someone trying to take care of the details and red tape at 80 or so...and most of it in the first few weeks after your loss.