Yes. It takes time. It was about 3 months for me, but it still feels strange. I want to wake up from this nightmare. I'm now living in a different home, but I stopped looking for him before I moved.

I still feel it at times, I know its not possible but I wish it could happen.
Its very normal to feel this way. It will lessen as time goes on.

What you're feeling is your heart's desire and your subconscience mind projecting that desire. Or, some people feel it is his spirit that will never leave you. Sharon

After 2 years I still have dreams that he is calling me and I look everywhere upstairs and downstairs but can't find him. I guess it means my subconscience doesn't accept the fact that he is gone forever.

YES you do, but we all have our own ways that we do, and timeline also.

For me it wasn't until about 4 months that I started to really ralize that he was NEVER coming back.

Before then I kept thinking that if i was "good enough" that somehow the powers that be would bring him back!

You NEVER STOP missing them, but you do acknowledge that they are never coming back "here' with us the way we would want.

It's a good day and a VERY BAD one all rolled in to one.

HUGS of understanding, and hang on.....you will get through this Diane

Julie, I felt this way today even though I am a few weeks past the six month mark. I was out running a few errands and as I headed home I
felt such a strong wave of emotion coming over me that I would see my husband again once I arrived home. I am not sure when this feeling will go away or if I will stop looking for him months down the road...Just wanted you to know that I understand the intense longing. Hugs, Stephanie

It's only been 5 weeks today for me but yes I keep thinking will see him driving the pickup down the driveway or look out toward our building and I will see him getting the tractor out. I think that's when I felt the numbness has worn off and I am realizing he is gone. Tonight after putting the truck away I looked over where our barn used to be that he had torn down before he passed so they could plant corn. Well being the first year the spot where it sat the corn isn't coming up to good. So I think and almost say" Brian it doesn't look to good there does it".
I don't think it will ever get easier.
Julie

I am truly sorry for all of your pain. I think deep down we KNOW they are not coming back, but my oh my how we sure bargain for it.

I left my husbands work boots at the back door where he put them every night for eight months after his departure. The dog sniffed them every day...she wanted him back too. My mother insisted that I get rid of them (she really had a way with words, not). Finally, the day I moved out of that house I asked a friend if he would take them away, but not let me see. I guess I thought he would need the boots and come back for them.

We never do get over missing them or loving them, we just find ways to come to peace with it. Praying for your heart to heal and that your peace find you.
Hugs, Cathy

Julie, I am at one year and I have gradually over the last year gotten past the surreal feeling he will be coming home. However just today I was out on errands and parked my car and looked at the car next to me, a white jeep liberty and it took my breath away. I had to make an effort not the break down since it looked so much like the car my husband used to drive. Your tragedy is so fresh I promise you it will get better, I dont think it totally ever goes away but it will get better. Hugs, Jess

I got rid of my husband's beloved cadillac very soon after he died because seeing it in the driveway was more than I could stand. For several months after that I would go through this whole process of how pissed he was going to be because I sold his car. I would think about how I would make it up to him and even went so far as checking on the cost of getting him a new one. I'd play the scene over and over again in my head. I am not sure when I finally stopped doing that, but I finally did. I think it takes awhile before our minds finally accept they are never coming back.

I know what you mean, I still have his shirts that need to go to the cleaners on the hamper and I smell them to get his scent. It's almost 9 wks but I think those shirts are going to be there for awhile. It's the only thing I have left that really seems like him

It's only been 3 weeks for me and I haven't moved any of his things. I can't imagine getting rid of any of them. I sleep with his ratty old robe that he refused to get rid of. The last clothes he wore are on the chest where he laid them and I pick them up often just to feel him. I don't know when I will be able to sleep in our bed again. Oh God, this is so hard.

Julie,

It has been about 14 weeks for me. Sometimes I do something that I know would have made her mad, I have a small hope in my mind that she will come out from wherever she has been hiding and yell at me. So far no luck.

Today when I came home from a trip and saw her car in the garage, I had a small lift until I said out loud, "she's not here." Under my breath, I followed that with, "and never will be again." That thought is so evil that I cannot yet say it out loud.

Julie,
It eventually gets less hard, though at times seems surreal. You know they've died----but it's so hard to get your mind wrapped around that fact. Added into this mix is the shock factor, the "I can't believe it" feeling. As you move in and through grief you learn that the memories of your life become a comfort to you and for me I don't think I will get over the missing and loving of my husband----I am learning how to be whole again and I do have hope in that as I carry my husband's love for me and mine for him in my heart.
Love and Hugs,
Sallie