I started coming here in 2013 too. Like you I don't post very often , but still read often. Though the grief attacks are far apart, I too get hit every now and then, especially when something else in my life is going poorly and the person who knew me the most is not around to comfort me. Peace to you too.

I'm one of the new ones here. It helps me to read posts from those who have gotten further down the road than I have. I get an idea of what the future possibly holds for me. Thank you for revisiting and relaying what you are still experiencing.
Peace, Tim

BandiBlue, I also am a "returnee". I became a widower last March (2015) and sought help in my grief by joining the forum. It worked wonders. So much so that by September, I thought I didn't need support anymore. How wrong I was (and still am). Approaching the first anniversary, the internal pain of loss is almost as bad as it first was; so here I am, back again and getting the help I realise I so desperately needed.
Jon

Hi Bandi
I have been away for a while but am going through a bad patch at the moment (my husband died in April 2014 and I found DS in May). I too have found great comfort here.
I hope your wave passes soon.
Sandy

Hi Bandi, You were one of my very first friends when I showed up here, lost and hurting back in 2014. Hadn't seen you in a while and hoped you were well. Sorry for what you're going thru right now but I'm glad you've got this group to come to when those waves hit. Sending you peace and ((hugs)) and the confidence that there are brighter days ahead.
~John

Hi Olwyn,
Almost missed this. I stop in usually daily for a quick look and caught your post. Are we oldtimers from 2013 or midtimers?
Yes we still hit the wall don't we. But when we read the posts of the new members we realize how far we've come. I, for one, have great difficulty reading the newcomers posts because it forces me to remember how gut wrenching everything was at the start for me as it was (and is ) for all of us.
We do continue with our lives because the survival instinct kicks in, yet we will never forget what once was.

Geo.

I also have been here almost two years. It is a comfort to know others are going through the same emotions and experiences. Have met so many new people the last two years that would have never come into my life. The support group I attended brought deep friendships, and volunteering at a senior center also expanded friendships. Have met so many widows through a meet up group so I realize that I am not alone in this journey. All that being said, I miss my husband and at times it is hard to imagine he will never walk this earth again. He was the love of my life....

I am amazed at how many years ago that I lost my husband. It still feels unreal when I think about it. The most surprising thing is that I am living a new life including being here with you. In June it will be 9 years!
Some people wonder why I am still here. The answer is simple - it gives my life purpose. I have a personal life, a new man in my life who I love, children and grandchildren. I live life to the fullest, because I learned that tomorrow isn't always promised.
Another thing that I learned was life is meant to be shared and that's a gift. Remember the saying, " the more you give away the more it returns to you " I have found that true.

Yes I guess I am an old timer. I did not find DS until 9 months into my journey and what a lifesaver it was/is. I am at 2 1/2 years and like you I am going through a bad patch. It is a comfort to come here and read all the posts. It really helps me to come where I am not judged. I stop in almost everyday and catch up.
Someday's it is hard to read the new comers posts, but it is also uplifting to see how far I have come. I try to stay positive and remind myself to celebrate the fact that I woke up and have been given the chance to be on this earth another day.
Hugs, Sandi

Peace back to you as well. I always come back and read for guidance and support as well. It's a comforting place to find a non-judgmental group that can voice their concerns and know that it doesn't go anywhere but here. I joined in April of 2015 after desperately searching for explanations and answers after Brian died suddenly.
I too join you in being very grateful.
Carol

Shm,,,I enjoy seeing your growth, it is something to work for. I truly feel anyone that gets involved with a widow or widower will be very lucky, as we know and appreciate what it is like to cherish the person and know that it can end tomorrow..Lucky all of us for the next person (if that's what you want) to share our lifeas Michael Buble' sings: "I haven't met you yet"

I'm coming up on three years and I still have the occasional grief burst. Still comes out of nowhere with no obvious cause, but this site is still helpful even after this long. It still helps to know that what I feel is not unusual and that others have felt the same.
Russ

Ive come to realize even at one year, this sadness may subside some, but it wil always be there for my sweet husband. Not that he makes me sad, just his passing, we had so many years ahead, and now he is gone... never more... Thank you for making me not feel so all alone. Love and hugs carla

I am glad you know you are always welcome here. I have noticed that there are certain times of the year that I really struggle, and February just always seems to be one of them. Partly winter blues, partly remembering both very good and very bad things that happened this time of year. Whatever it is, I know I have to give myself extra care during this time every year, but I know, too, that it will pass. I hope it eases for you soon.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I'm watching you "old-timers" and learning that losing a loved one is like having a disability. A part of us is torn away. Now we may learn to cope without that missing part, but we will always be disabled. I know I will always miss my wife.

I do believe the coping gets easier in time--at least I hope it does. I also experience these waves of grief everyone talks about. It's only been a short while for me. Some days I feel almost normal. Other days I'm a wreck, and I can't predict what will set it off.

This site is helping me understand I'm not alone. Other people go through this all the time, and the experiences are surprisingly similar. Thank you all for sharing.