I would decline the invite. I think you will feel awkward going to the event.

Maggie

I would attend the event after explaining to your brother and sister in law that you may feel the need to leave for those reasons you stated. You may find yourself enjoying mingling with family members and friends. Sometimes the anticipation of the event is much worse than the event itself. At least here you are attending this occasion but leaving a door open if you feel the need to leave.

I would go too even though my husband has only been gone 28 days and our anniversary is tomorrow. I know I would do a lot of crying, hopefully not right in the middle of things but I know how important it is to show our love to the people we still have in our lives
Don't let this become something you regret in years to come

I would go but with a quick exit strategy if I need one. As has been said anticipation is sometimes worse than what is. That being said if in your heart of hearts you really feel your not up to it be gentle on yourself. You can only do what you can do.

mlm, I would try my best to go. Your brother and sister-in-law certainly want you at their milestone celebration. They'll only have one 50th anniversary.
You may find being around family will be a comfort to you.
If you have to leave early, I think everyone will understand

You have to do what feels right, of course, but you may be sorry if you don't make an effort to go.

Hugs,
Janie

I would decline the invite but send a nice gift. I would suggest you let your brother know you would feel awkward and don't want to spoil the day for them. But that's just me.....

The whole point of the celebration is that they are still together after 50 years. They actually don't need anyone else there, do they?? They still have each other. I am always pea-green with envy when I meet somebody who made it that far. Cliff and I were together for 30, married 28. I have remarried, but I know we aren't going to make it to 50 either (we'd have to live to over 100 for that to happen - not likely). I still feel cheated, and I don't think I could handle somebody else's celebration like that. For me personally, it would be like salt in an old wound.....

Love and Hugs,
Martha

6 months after my husband passed, I traveled out of town to attend my parents 60th wedding anniversary. My husband when he found out that he was terminal, asked me to keep up with the plans already made . To add to it, my niece's wedding was the night before as they fett it was the perfect time because of so many relatives coming in from out of town to attend the 60th anniversary. Both events were extremely bittersweet. I was happy for my niece to start on her new journey but sad for myself and I was happy for my parents but jealous at the same time that they had 60 years while I only had 25 years. The bottom line for me was that while it was hard , these were the people who love me and were there for me and while grieving allows for declining events, in my heart I felt that it was the right thing to do. As suggested , do have a plan B if you chose to attend and yes the anticipation is often worst than the reality.

I'd make the decision closer to the day. At 11 months my emotions are still all over the place. I would let them know that I would like to come but that if things are bad I may not get there. I've done this for a few events. Some I get to, some I don't. It's not the end of the world either way.

Celebrating with others and for others is certainly difficult in the midst of our grief. For each of us, we experience differing levels of difficulty. You have to follow your heart and listen to your inner voice and do what's right for you. I'm sure your family will understand and support you in your decision, either way. Best wishes and hugs, Dayna

I'm trying to put myself in your brother's position and wonder if he knows about the event or if it's a surprise? That would make a difference in talking to him.

It sounds like you don't know what is planned, so your worry is premature. I would wait to see what is planned and when. It's important to have our family and friends to celebrate our happiness. It's also important for you to take care of you.

Breathe deeply and let things work out. When you receive the invitation you can decide on what is best. Let us know. Sharon

I would advise you to go if you can. I had a similar situation six months into the ordeal of widowhood, whether to attend an old friends daughters wedding. My daughter and I were feeling anxious and not sure we could cope with seeing a father lead his daughter down the aisle, or being part of a wedding celebration in general while we were missing and grieving. However, we did go, and we made sure we talked ahead of time to our friends, that we might have to leave in the middle or whatever if we felt we couldn't cope. As it transpired, we were fine, yes, sad at times, glad at others, and enjoyed the event that was such a big day for everyone. Being part of that experience was precious. We did have to leave during the reception just bore the father daughter dance, and it we hard to hear all the speeches about love and being together forever. We sneaked out quietly do as not to disturb the reception event and went back to our hotel and the following morning attended the wedding breakfast, Our friends were so glad we were part of their only daughters wedding. Many there knew the circumstances and were very supportive and kind, and we felt included and loved. It all comes down to love in the end really. I would recommend going, but making sure you talk to them beforehand and tell them you may have to leave quietly if it all gets too much. I'm sure they'll understand and at some point down the road you will be so glad you were a part of their celebration. Hugs to you and whatever you decide is absolutely right. Be kind to yourself.

I think I would go, and if possible, would talk to the couple about your feelings a few days beforehand, depending where you are at by that time. As others suggested, have a quick exit strategy planned. If possible, talk to another relative you know will be there, to see if they can stand by your side and offer emotional support.
One of the lessons I had to learn as a widow was that it wasn't all about me. That was never more apparent to me than when my best girlfriend, who had been my rock through the last several years, suddenly had two life altering health emergencies in the last year. I had to suck it up, pull myself together, and be strong, in order to support her. She was at the same hospital where my husband spent so much time; dang, that was hard, having to walk through those doors again.
A niece got married this weekend, and I was so wanting to be there - the only reason I didn't go was because it was overseas in Australia, and I don't have the finances for the kids and I to go. (About $8000 all up)
Yes, it will be hard, mlm, but I think its worth the effort to try and not avoid this. The pain will be with you either there or at home. Personally, I'd rather not regret missing it.
Hugs, Jac

I would go, find a numb zone and paste on a smile. I would frequently find some fresh air and ask a favor of a family member or friend beforehand to please keep watch and help me through it or out of it as gracefully as possible. Support them for this if you can. I know the pain is so hard to overcome but I believe this is how you find yourself again. My first worsts were a niece's wedding and his best friends 60th birthday.
My best to you,
Jean

I found trying to put a smile on your face when grief is in your corner is very = very hard and usually back fire at the most unexpected times
So you need to decide within yourself where you are in your grief stage and be yourself. You and only you know how your heart and soul feels and can take whatever. I could not attend a funeral of a very close friend 1 year after my husband died, nor could I truly feel like I was contributing to my close cousins 40th anniversary celebration. I would have made a very teary scene not happy for all at that time.
All loved me and understood. NOW that's not maybe how you truly feel. BUT you are asking so I feel you have some doubts on how YOU could handle it. Hugs

I would decline the invitation and explain that I'm just not ready to participate. They will probably appreciate your honesty. It is much better than sitting there sad or crying which would cast a shadow on the festivities.

The gift with a card is a great idea.