I'm sorry for your loss...I know how hard it is...I'm at just over three months too...and the evenings are hard for me too...I think it's because that is when we would spend the most time together, when the day is finished, and we'd just sit and watch tv or something...and not having to prepare dinner for him is a stark reminder..
For stress and panic, I use codeine painkillers...I use them anyway, but I have been using a lot more of them since my husband passed...and while many will disagree, weed helps...I've started 'dabbing' with hash oil and that evens me out a bit...that being said, though, the drugs just mask the real issue, which is still there in the background, and in the foreground when they wear off.. Like you, sleep works wonders, because when I'm asleep, reality fades...and I do dream about him from time to time...nothing about this sentence we've been handed is easy..or fair...take care, sending good vibes your way..wendi

Ruthann and Wendi, you're both so early in your journey, and my heart hurts for both of you.
I, too, miss my husband most in the evening. I'd make dinner, and then we'd sit on the couch and talk about our day or watch t.v., have a glass of wine, and just be together.
It's a new life, and many times it's lonely.

Hugs,
Janie

It really helps to know that there are others who miss their mate most or worst, in he evenings. Yes, I did spend more time with him of the evenings, when dinner was done We use to have our best talks while sitting on the porch or while watching a movie together. Yes, when the "day is over" as you said, we still had each other. So glad to know that you all "get me" when I say that evenings are the toughest and yes, it is still early for some of us so it;s hard to get past old habits that have been for 44 years. I so wanted to make it to 45 years, August 16th, but I was lucky to have him as long as I did. I need to count my blessings!
Ruthann

Even after a year... I miss my love each moment. I do agree the evenings are very hard. I just miss not being able to talk to him
and to hear his voice.

I was watching the US PGA Golf tournament today & all of a sudden I just started crying, because I remember when I would watch sports and jump up & down and Larry would just laugh at my craziness and
today I was all by myself .... There are just so many memories...
it just isn't easy no matter what...... I just miss him !!!!

yes, evenings can be espeically hard, especially Friday evenings - we always used to try to set those aside for us, to do take-in watch tv, rent a movie be real home bodies. We also used to love to sit outside into the night even in what others would call the colder weather. Made it extra hard when he could no longer tolerate temperature changes - cold or warm - it was part of his disease. How I cope...well I'm new to this but I cry good tears - cathartic tears, I write my feelings out, I call friends and I have good friends who call me. But, mostly I acknowledge I my feelings are ok and I come here at all hours day or night when i need a shoulder.

It'll soon be 14 months for me. I find that the mornings & evenings are my worse times. I wake every morning knowing it's another lonely day without him. Missing our morning hugs & coffee time on the porch watching the sun rise or him taking photos as the day came to life...our discussing plans for the day or making our life decisions together. And in the quiet of the evenings when we would take often dinner on the porch or sitting there just enjoying the peaceful stillness of the night & looking at the beautiful night sky. I miss him & our life together every moment, but these particular times the waves of grief are more intense.

I've had numerous panic attacks during this dreadful journey. I'm not keen on taking medication so whenever I feel one coming on...knowing what it is, before I get to frantic, I try talking to myself..telling myself it's another attack that I will be okay that it's my body reacting. I begin to take long deep breathes through my nose & really focus on my breath. And honestly you can not think while doing this. Or I call a friend that truly understand what I am going through..it's a person that I can tell what is truly happening & will help to get me through the attack. I must admit my attacks come less & less than in the beginning of this grief journey. Hope that this may be of some help.

Love & Hugs, Paula

Yes, times usually spent with our spouses are now lonely without them there. Our routines have been changed, we were comfortable, and happy in them. All I can suggest is finding a new one, I've started walking in the evenings, sometimes my son comes with, sometimes he's on his computer. It gets us out of the house, some exercise, and we get to talk to the neighbors when they're out.

Finding new routines helps tremendously, I agree. As far as panic/anxiety attacks, I've struggled with these off and on all of my life. I've tried breath work, yoga, positive affirmations (self talk), essential oils, therapy, valerian root, you name it, I tried it. The only thing that has consistently helped me was getting "medicated" . . 1mg of Klonopin only when needed (as when I feel the anxiety coming on). Works like a charm. My anxiety was so out of control prior to addressing this with my doc . . I couldn't drive, I'd run out of grocery stores w/ a full shopping cart only to get in the car shaking and panic at the thought of driving. It became beyond debilitating! Sometimes meds are necessary for those of us with extreme anxiety. I wish you the best with this portion of the grief struggle. It's not easy. Hugs, D

As I traveled through the process of loss I found the mornings worse. My husband worked evenings or nights for many years so it was the morning hours that I missed our time together. Then he would go to bed and I would leave for work. It depends on when we shared our time together that is hard. Thinking of you and wishing you well. Sharon

I am so sorry for your loss. I feel the same away around 5-7pm. It was the time we both got home from work, had texted each other what the plan for dinner was or I was walking in the door with dinner already cooking and a glass of wine waiting for me. I walk into the house and the emptiness and silence is overwhelming. I have tried to go to the gym during this time to avoid the house and sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. I have anxiety attacks as well but I found if I talk with Danny during this time it helps me calm down. I have no problem just going to bed some nights early and finding peace within my dreams. I hope things get better for you too.