Last night the tapes of our life together re-ran in my mind with vivid clarity. What prompted this memory fest? I attended a Girl Scout function of one of our granddaughters at, would you believe, the high school where my DH and I spent our dating years. Everywhere I looked, I saw holograms of us walking in the halls, sitting in the lunchroom, our spot on the bleachers at the basketball games, and on and on. It brought back precious memories. The drive home and the rest of the evening was spent in semi-recollection mode of what things I missed about DH. This was a jolt, as I became mindful of what had slowly disappeared in my thinking patterns.

Foremost, RESPECT. I looked to my husband for wise counsel, sensitive assessments, and his gentle way of thinking through a process. Our pattern of making decisions was one of dual opinions, shaking them down to what was the best and most sensible of conclusions. I respected his input, and vice versa. I respected the man who was strong-minded but gentle as a lamb. He would walk into a room, and my eyes would catch his and I couldn't wait to be next to himand that was after 4 decades of marriage. It only got better!

Second, GENTLENESS. Boy, did he have a way of defusing my tendency to arrive at a way-too-soon assumption. Over the years, I came to see his calmness as a monumental strength of character. I certainly needed that balance, and he was the perfect person to bring it into my life.

Third, ADMIRATION. Wow, did/do I admire that guy who always put himself last. His family's needs and comfort always came before anything else. I miss looking across the yard or our family room and seeing a man who had gained my admiration crisis after crisis, year after year, incident after incident.

Fourth, TRUST. I trusted his love and his motives. He never gave me a reason not to do so.

This post is a small collection of attributes that I miss encountering each day. Yes, I have wonderful daughters, family, friends, and neighbors who possess many exceptional qualities, but it's not the same, is it? The LOVE that I was privileged to experience has brought me to where I am and who I am today. Thank you, my dear, considerate, loving husband. It is my prayer that the impact he made on my life will be far-reaching as a legacy to our life together. As our daughter so aptly put it while writing a description of her dad: "He led by serving others."

Would you be willing to share the attributes you enjoyed seeing in your spouse? My DH inspired me to stretch myself beyond my comfort zone, to take a chance, to be a better person. How did your DH inspire you? TJ