I'm really not liking my new life, either. Hope your tomorrow is better than you expect.

I'm with yoi guys. We didnt ask this new life and i dont like it.

ditto

Me too

I am learning to do things that I never would have attempted before. I've learned how to use the propane grill. Nobody got hurt. I've had to work on the yard all by myself. I've had to rely on me to get up in the morning and take care of my daughter. I've had to make decisions. I've scheduled a cheap vacay, that was amazing. These are all things that I wouldn't have done and wouldn't have believed I could do. Today, I will attempt a brisket on the smoker. I didn't choose this, but I'm trying to make the most of it...

Mel40 - Good for you, you should be so proud of your accomplishments !!!

To the rest of you, I agree there isn't anything at all about his life I like either but we must learn to or else live a miserable existence until the end. Happy Memorial Day, if nothing else, I wish you all peace today.
Hugs !!!

No holiday for me. Just stay home to do chores. I am so tired of mowing lawn.

No doubt that my new life sucks, but it's all I have. I know my wife would want me to be happy and I hope to be someday, but it won't be for awhile. Hard to believe how many new lows a person can reach!

Take care and thanks to all of our veterans who have sacrificed.

Russ

Not liking your new life is just the way we all feel, and you are no different. The challenge is to get to the point of being able to 'make the choice' to begin living it.

You are not at that point, and neither were we at this time, and we weren't either. You are where you need to be and be encouraged by the fact that you will be able to fine the strength to do more even though you will still 'not like it' hugs Sharon

You can spend in the day in bed if you wish ~
There is no harm in caring for one's self first ~
Others might not understand now, but will later ~
Years ago I felt the same way you do ~
It has sooooo changed, but it didn't happen overnight or in a year ~

Gently soothe yourself ~
And get plenty of rest & sleep ~
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind. ~ Dr. Seuss ~

I too am in total agreement this new life sucks, but we really don't have any choice but to go on without the one we loved the most.

I am really proud of the things that I have learned to do and will continue to learn to do but if I had my rathers I would definatley want my husband back, as would all of you. I have learned to plow the snow in the winter, mow the 3 acres of grass in the spring, and treat the pond, these are just a few of the things that I have learned to do and am sure there will be many more to come.

It has been 4 months for me and some days the pain feels like it did in the beginning but there are good days now too. I allow myself to grieve but I will allow myself to smile and laugh too. Some days are better than others but just keep taking baby steps to get there.

russ, i am with you. it truly amazes me just how low i get and how many ways there are to get there. sad, for sure.

debbu

I agree - I hate this! I do have hope that some day it will get better but at times I lose sight of that hope. I'm almost at four months and yesterday I cried all day on and off. I was going through some of his things and I just kept losing it. I didn't want to stop because the memories were coming with the tears and there were smiles thrown in. -Deb

Count me in on the " new life " haters too. I still can't believe it has happen to me. Will we ever get used to it?

Spending the day in bed won't help a thing, although I would love to do it myself. There is just nothing that helps, I only figure TIME will do it, but it just takes so long!

11weeks is so new, I'm at 21 months and still not much better then in the beginning. Oh, I can function..... but the crying still goes on. I wish I could just have another day with him but then we would be back at the beginning again.

Four years later, I still often think back about things we use to do together. I was reading the book A time to grieve and it says our lives is like a river its fluid and it continues to change.We can not hope for our relationships to remain rock like ,because the life we had before the death has flowed on.It seems to help me understand that I have to keep trying to adjust to my new life. For me memorial Day bring back memories of all the people I miss.