one day, one moment at a time...just as i still am doing....

We so sympathize with you as we have all felt this way at some time. There is no way that I know of to not have to go through this, so the best method of dealing with it that I've found is to accept what is, don't apologize to anyone for your feelings and actions right now. Treat yourself as kindly as possible. Only time will heal you, one day at a time. And you will find lots of support from people just like you right here. Hugs today and may you find peace and comfort.
Kathleen

as alwaysleo wrote, a moment at a time. Peace to you

Becca, There are days when the pain is overwhelming. I can't remember where I read this but it was described as being cut in half with a sword and then being told to walk with only one arm and one leg and half a brain. I think that describes it pretty well.

There is no easy way. But I want you to know that slowly, things do get better. Today, at almost 2 years, I am sad, I miss my DH as much as ever. But it's not with the rawness that you have at first. Like a bad wound, it took time to get here.

Be kind to yourself. Don't expect to much and beat yourself up when it doesn't happen. Grieving takes a lot of energy. I still lose my concentration often.

Hugs,
Kathy

I remember those early days. It was as if someone cut out my heart with a knife and twisting. I am at 2 years and 3 months and yes it still hurts but I've healed quite a bit. The pain does get better and yes one day at a time. I think it will always hurt somewhat when I think of what could have been. Yes I still have my weepy days but I function so much better than at first. Remember to drink lots of water to make up for all the tears you cry, get as much sleep as you can and if you can't sleep see your doctor. Oh and try to keep as busy as you can. I am so sorry you have to go through this....

I remember the early days, the days when I would have to remind myself to breathe. I would have to read something over and over and still not comprehend it. So many things I had to decide upon doing two things at once was overwhelming and I'd end up in bed in tears. The advice was take one moment at a time, take baby steps, handle one thing at a time as I was ready to do so, ask for help when I needed it...be good to myself and take things at my own pace...only time will help heal..... Time did pass slowly but surely I was able to function. One day I was reading a post here and realized my progress...until then take one moment at a time, take baby steps and remember to breathe.

I also felt that I had let my kids down by allowing my Wife to die and leaving them without a Mom. I got through it by leaning on my Parents and my children and my best friend and his Wife. My Pastor and my church friends helped some also.

I am so sorry for your loss...it is one day at a time.... it will be 2 years for me at the end of this month...I had a rough couple of days over the weekend...cried and cried...I am good today. Just know you will have days when you cant get yourself together...and others where you are able to function. ....I did some apologizing for not being able to talk or think in the early months too. Give yourself permission to grieve as often as yuou need too...blessings............Debbie...

It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Sometimes I can't focus and it's like I don't hear what someone is saying to me or my mind wonders.

If I feel it's going to be that kind of day, I will try to reschedule my appointments and just do busy work in the office that don't require interaction with anyone. I have a job where I meet with a lot of people and a couple of months ago I had a meeting with a family and two days later as I was reviewing their file, I couldn't remember meeting with them or what they looked like. That was one of those days I should have rescheduled.

Sometimes, I go to the back area of our office and sit outside by myself for a while. Some days it's just hour by hour.

Nessie from KY