Developing a routine will help. My fog eventually turned into just going through the motions without much feeling. My memory is not as sharp, but I know it will take time to get back to normal after going through such a traumatic event. Be patient with yourself and realize that forgetfulness is part of the grief process. Also, remember that grief is not predictable or linear, sometimes it is one step forward and two steps back. Some days may be better than others. Don't put a time limit on your grief, as it will take as long as it takes.

I bought a book that is helping me through each day. It is "Healing After Loss, Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief" by Martha Whitmore Hickman. It may help you as well.

That is a wonderful book TC0112 recommended, it sits on my night stand and I read it daily. I already went through the first year with it.
I just pasted year 2, for me its really not much better. I am working so that's a big help, its being alone all the time. Having a dog sure helps too.

You are still in the very early stages, its normal what your going through right now. in fact...........everything is normal in griefIt will get easier but it will never be the same.
Your among friends here, just talk and get it out.
Hugs,
JoAnn

As JoAnn said you are still in the early stages of grief which are the toughest and everything is normal. The emotions and pain are so raw the first few months. Truthfully it took a number of months for the fog to lift somewhat for me. I wasnt even really functioning the first 2 months. I have no routine 7 months in but Im working on that. I am truly sorry for your loss. The people here are phenomenal and compassionate and will guide and support you through the tough days, weeks and months that lay ahead. I am so sorry you have to travel this journey. Gerald

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear wife. I am glad you have found us here at DS. The wonderful people here understand all too well what we are feeling because they are walking the same hard road we are.

At 8 weeks you are still in such early stages of grief. You need to be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack. Grief is the hardest work you will ever do. Grief is the worst roller coaster ride and you will find yourself hanging on by your nails. We have lost the most important person in our lives...our other half ...our soulmate. Forget day by day...take it hour by hour. I am at almost 11 months and still trying to find my way.

Sending you gentle hugs and prayers. Take care of yourself and come here often...write, read or vent...we will be here for you.
Blessings,
Sharon

You are not alone. At 10 weeks, I can so relate...I have gone off and left the doors open, the lights on, and one night, I went to bed with the gas stove still burning! (on low, thank God) It has been 10 weeks, and I still have episodes of the "fog".

My son gave me a small binder. That may help you. I keep EVERY thing written down in there. Anytime I take care of business, have a phone call, etc. I write down the date, and the name of the person with phone number. I ask them to speak slowly, so that I can take the notes...and have found it invaluable. I can look back and try to piece together things I would have forgotten.

What others are saying about grief is so true. Establish a routine if possible, but more importantly, be kind to yourself. I thought I was doing "great" but this week, succumbed to a two day meltdown. Out of nowhere, found myself sobbing, wailing, crying....totally out of control....for hours on end. I woke up all night in tears. And it wouldn't stop. So I cancelled everything, and allowed myself to feel....it hurt like hell, but I am better today. So guess that was one of the big dips on the roller coaster. Headed back up once again...

NONE of us want to be on this board. Yet, here we are...

Thank you all so much. I think it helps just to know I am not alone in these feelings. Not that I would wish this on anyone but, we did not choose to be in this position, but we are. And as my wife said about the cancer, It is what it is. The advice is much appreciated and will be used. I am glad I have found the space to help. As I do not have much of a family or support group, you guys are great.

That was one of Bob's sayings, it is what it is. I find myself saying that all day. I just go thru the motions right now, get up feed the dogs, go to work, come home eat sometimes and then go to bed. I have been sleeping 10-11 hours a night, I think my body and mind are exhausted from the last five weeks. I just miss talking to someone at the end of the day about work and what they did that day, the little things that we take for granted sometimes seem to be the worst.