Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Today, Independence Day, I have decided to take off my wedding rings and put them away. It has been 3 years, 4 months since the love of my life passed from colon cancer. There is not a day that I don't think about him. He will always be my first love. We were married 40 years. It is hard for me to let go of "being married" to a "single" though we pledged "till death do us part." It has been a rough road, though I have fantastic support from my family, though something is missing. I miss talking to an adult other than my grown kids. I miss going out to dinner, movies, or just sitting on our deck drinking wine and chatting. I miss being touched.
I will be seeing my grown kids and their families for fireworks and celebration but am worried that they will notice the wedding rings gone and feel that they won't understand that although their Dad will be in my heart for eternity, I need to do something for myself. I am already independent as far as taking care of myself, my home and bills and such. It's time for me to be an "independent me" and get out and not just dwell on family. I need company, friends and maybe another man in my life. Today on Independence day, I am taking that big step. Wish me luck.
I will be seeing my grown kids and their families for fireworks and celebration but am worried that they will notice the wedding rings gone and feel that they won't understand that although their Dad will be in my heart for eternity, I need to do something for myself. I am already independent as far as taking care of myself, my home and bills and such. It's time for me to be an "independent me" and get out and not just dwell on family. I need company, friends and maybe another man in my life. Today on Independence day, I am taking that big step. Wish me luck.
Do what feels right to you. We will always carry our spouse's love in our hearts, forever and ever. Nothing will change that. Not taking the ring off, or starting a new relationship. I struggle with guilt, but I know my husband was always my biggest supporter, and always supported me in what made me feel happy.
I truly hope your family understands and supports you on your journey. Happy Independence Day!
Lori
On a chain. I was also married 40 years!
I just started "seeing"
A widower in my neighborhood. The hardest thing I ever did! But I must say it it wonderful to go to a movie, dinner, adult conversation, hold hands. We are moving VERY SLOWLY!
I finally told me sons and daughter. My son said " you deserve a life" and my daughter is happy for me. They both live in different states, so they don't see me with him. Probably easier that way.
Anyway, u do deserve a life! It doesn't mean u love your husband any less.
Good luck ,
Maureen
P.S. If you missed Sharon's recent post, there is sister group for W/W's called Hopeful Hearts, Living After Loss. You might find it helpful in moving on toward your future independence!
Round of Hugs, D
I support your brave decision and want everything good for you, you deserve it!
You have a purpose and you the time is right to carry through, I commend you,
With you all the way.......Hugs.......Sandra