Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
so sorry for not being here for others.. I've been having a bad time this past couple of months.. I made a move from our home of 28 years I was fine with that and I'm happy with my apt. I have know idea as yet what I'm going to do with our home it's sitting empty.. will probably sell.. I've gotten a little kitten for company he is beige and white long hair lots of persian in him.. his name is Sir Allistar Sims after the actor in A Christmas Carol... I really love this little guy..
The month of Dec. Ken always took his 5 weeks holidays including the first week of Jan. As much as he said Bah Humbug he did all the baking for the kids and our home and he cooked the Christmas dinners made all the meat and cheese, veggie and fruit platters.. And Danced our Turkey before it went into the oven for the perfect bird.. It's all so different.. My tree was put up for me.. Ken bought it for me last year after years of having a 2ft table tree he bought a prelite 6 ft tree last year and he surprised me by putting it up and decorating it.. My DIL did that this year I sat every night and cried looking at it..
We had Christmas eve for our family at my apt.. was nice.. My DIL and Daughter did all the meal my granddaughters did some baking.. I fought back tears till I opened a gift from our Granddaughter that was a white china heart that had doves with a ribbon that says always in your Heart.. then Ken's full name DOB and DOD on it.. can be hung on a tree but I'm going to get a fancy stand to have it by his URN.. I had bought Necklaces for all the girls and myself and a key chain for Neil our son with urns in them.. We took the Urn to my bedroom Carolyn our Daughter opened it we don't want my youngest Granddaughter to see the date on the bottom of when Ken was cremated as it was her 14th birthday.. I cried when I saw what was inside.. Sure wasn't what I expected.. it was all bone.. hardly any ash.. Neil had a hard time filling the wee urns that go in our necklaces but he did.. All the young grand and great grandson came in to see what Poppa looked like and Neil got down on his honches and explained it all to them and they seemed okay.. Our Great-grandson discovered that Poppa's hat he wore every day that sits on his urn still smells like him.. He hadn't wanted Poppa to be in the box as he called it he is only 3 1/2 so I think this all helped us all..
I went to my son's for Christmas night and day and didn't have my melt down till they brought me home I had fought it all day.. Neil put on the Santa hat this year and did his Dad's job.. *Danced the Turkey* so the tradition lives on.. Ken was mentioned many many times during the day..
I feel at peace.. I don't know if it was seeing him feeling his bones.. wearing him around my neck every day now..the holiday being over, or that his traditions he was so known for are being carried on for another generation..
I hope you all had a nice as it could be Christmas this year who were new widows this past 2011 and it was your first Christmas without our loved ones and a Merry Christmas to those who have be before us through this grieving stage..
I wish you all the best for New Year 2012.. may you have some Happiness, all the Health in the world and be safe in all you do..
I'm not doing anything this year we never did go out.. My sister and her hubs were going to come but I cancelled them as I have a cold and last year in Feb her husband flat lined and was in a coma for two weeks and I don't want him to be sick...
sorry this is so long..
Wishing you all the best
Lois
The month of Dec. Ken always took his 5 weeks holidays including the first week of Jan. As much as he said Bah Humbug he did all the baking for the kids and our home and he cooked the Christmas dinners made all the meat and cheese, veggie and fruit platters.. And Danced our Turkey before it went into the oven for the perfect bird.. It's all so different.. My tree was put up for me.. Ken bought it for me last year after years of having a 2ft table tree he bought a prelite 6 ft tree last year and he surprised me by putting it up and decorating it.. My DIL did that this year I sat every night and cried looking at it..
We had Christmas eve for our family at my apt.. was nice.. My DIL and Daughter did all the meal my granddaughters did some baking.. I fought back tears till I opened a gift from our Granddaughter that was a white china heart that had doves with a ribbon that says always in your Heart.. then Ken's full name DOB and DOD on it.. can be hung on a tree but I'm going to get a fancy stand to have it by his URN.. I had bought Necklaces for all the girls and myself and a key chain for Neil our son with urns in them.. We took the Urn to my bedroom Carolyn our Daughter opened it we don't want my youngest Granddaughter to see the date on the bottom of when Ken was cremated as it was her 14th birthday.. I cried when I saw what was inside.. Sure wasn't what I expected.. it was all bone.. hardly any ash.. Neil had a hard time filling the wee urns that go in our necklaces but he did.. All the young grand and great grandson came in to see what Poppa looked like and Neil got down on his honches and explained it all to them and they seemed okay.. Our Great-grandson discovered that Poppa's hat he wore every day that sits on his urn still smells like him.. He hadn't wanted Poppa to be in the box as he called it he is only 3 1/2 so I think this all helped us all..
I went to my son's for Christmas night and day and didn't have my melt down till they brought me home I had fought it all day.. Neil put on the Santa hat this year and did his Dad's job.. *Danced the Turkey* so the tradition lives on.. Ken was mentioned many many times during the day..
I feel at peace.. I don't know if it was seeing him feeling his bones.. wearing him around my neck every day now..the holiday being over, or that his traditions he was so known for are being carried on for another generation..
I hope you all had a nice as it could be Christmas this year who were new widows this past 2011 and it was your first Christmas without our loved ones and a Merry Christmas to those who have be before us through this grieving stage..
I wish you all the best for New Year 2012.. may you have some Happiness, all the Health in the world and be safe in all you do..
I'm not doing anything this year we never did go out.. My sister and her hubs were going to come but I cancelled them as I have a cold and last year in Feb her husband flat lined and was in a coma for two weeks and I don't want him to be sick...
sorry this is so long..
Wishing you all the best
Lois
Such a nice update, and such thoughtful children yuo have giving youg such a beautiful heartfelt gift as the otnament they made for you.
Whe those traditions are kept going, kept alive, they are forever alive and as your ornament so appropriately says 'always in your hearts".
that's the best legacy anyone can leave. to be always in someone's heart.
I wish you peace of heart, and much love in the New year. I wish it for yu, and every one of us.
HUGS and thanks for bringing such a great post, and look into the holidays past, and present. And let us all know that life, and LOVE truly do go on.
Diane
Anne