Lady101
I seem to have a harder time on the drive home from work, which can be up to 45 mins. Because I know when I get there he will not be there to give me a big hug. And of course the evening hours.
I am not saying this is the right way to do it but it helps me.
I sometimes listen to the radio on the way home. There are many stations on that have people talking about something. I am still thinking my husband and life but it gives me something else to direct my thoughts, or I talk to my friend who has about the same commute time.
I usually have a plan for my night, I don't have to do it all but I feel better. I will make dinner, then I usually walk on the treadmill for at least a half hour. Hopefully when Winter is done I can get out more. Then I do anything else that needs to be done. Or I go to a grief support group or whatever else I want to do. Then I check my email etc. and right before bed I read this site.
Some may say I am doing too much, but they are not walking in my shoes. I get up at very early every morning for work so by the time I start reading on the computer I am falling asleep.
I hope you find your routine that is good for you. I am at six and a half months. Please don't get me wrong I have my really bad days too missing him. And wish and pray with my whole heart that he was still here with me. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Marilyn

Mornings are horrible for me, it seems when I wake up the reality hits me and I have to go through another whole day. I have knots in my stomach and it takes me hours to be able to move. As the day goes on I get a little better, by evening I'm fully functioning, then sleep, and then that dreaded morning again.

Hi Lady I think it is still to early for you. At 3 & 1/2 months the grief was still so raw for me. It was about that time that I came out of the numbness and for the 1st time realized that Don was gone & was not coming back. That I was going to be alone. It was devastating to me. So I feel your pain.
I am at 8 months now and the it's as different as night & day. Don't get me wrong, there are still times that I am overcome with grief, and I hate being alone.
I do not ever think about my future long term because then I am reminded that he will not be there. I take 1 day at a time and that seems to work for me. You will get better. You will be able to at some point start to remamber the good times & you will smile & be happy & not want to cry all the time. You will start to feel blessed because you had him in your life and were lucky enough to share your lives together.
My day is a lot like Marilyn's. I work and so when I come home I have the animals to take care of. I fix dinner. Mayber watch a movie or read some. Check my email etc....I stay busy because now it is only me to take care of everything around here. I always have some kind of chore to do.
I have a grandson & my kids who I do things with on the weekends.
I know how you are feeling & I know how diffucult the nights & days are and how you do not think you will make it through them, but I promise you will. Be patient with yourself. Getting through this grief is the hardest thing I have ever done, but we will, we have no choice. Sending you hugs & prayers.
Take care, Lucy

There is nothing abnormal with what you are feeling. I think coming home to an empty house is one of the hardest things. I sent me over the edge too and I used to avoid it by finding a place by the water to sit and relax with a cup of coffee after work. Kind of a wind down time. Sharon

Lady101 we are at about the same place in this horrible process, it was 3mos yesterday for me & I just when I was starting to have some days that I saw a little bit of light this last week with the impending 3mo anniversary looming, it's been a terrible week of feeling so alone & sad again. I just returned to work 2 weeks ago & that has been so much harder than I thought it was going to be without my husband to come to, if I know my daughters not going to be home when I come home from work I just dread the drive home. Lately though if I know I'm going to be alone for the evening I will try to plan out my evening with dinner in or sometimes out, chores, a little TV or a movie rental & of course my DS time before bed. I'm trying hard to get out alittle more but it's hard because my hearts not really in it yet but I know my husband wouldn't want me to become a hermit either. I hope with all my heart that you begin to find some light at the end of this tunnel of grief were in because I'm sure that your husband would want you to go on with life until you two meet again for eternity, that's what I try to tell myself when I'm having a terrible lonely day.................hugs................kim

I remember how very hard it was at only 3 to 6 months. All the reality has set in and you feel a huge boulder on your chest. Where to go from here? So glad to be off work in the afternoon, but what do we waiting for us when we get home? Right. Darkness. Silence. I agree with Maritele10 about having a plan. That has helped a lot. If I don't make any plans for supper, I find myself looking in the refrig late, wondering what I should eat. Then I eat something that is not really balanced and nutritional. Planning (even little, bitty plans) are better than no plan. Setting aside time to do something good, like call a friend, or read a book, helps. The worst feeling is, Well, here I am....what do I do now??? Perhaps it might help when we walk into the cold, quiet, dark house at the end of the day, to stop right then and say to ourselves that we have lots of company doing the very same thing. All of us are doing the same thing at the end of the day. Maybe we could start praying for each other when we are alone and afraid and sad. Just a thought.

Lady, Valentines Day will be three months since I lost my husband, my best friend, the love of my life. I am feeling the same things you are. The last few weeks have been the hardest yet. I think the reality that he is truly gone is hitting home. I have a hard time sleeping too, when I do fall asleep, I wake up several times throughout the night many times forgetting that he is not there beside me. The nights are truly the hardest. Like most on here, I am taking one day and night at a time and praying it gets a little easier each day.

3 months is a hard time. It was for me also. It seems like that's when some of the numbness wears off and the reality of your loss hits you line a ton of bricks. Nights were hard for me. Coming home to an empty house was hard. It still isn't my favorite thing. But I have a very joyful and loving dog that I come home to. It helps to know that it's absolutely the best part of her day. So I've decided it's also the best part of mine too. And the rest of the night just gets a bit better.

I just had my 4month anniversary of losing my huband .Its is still really hard I feel so lonley at night and in the mornings its hard to get out of bed.My daughter and her boyfriend live with me some days if they wouldnot be here i would go crazy.I go too counselling . I wish he would walk threw the door I miss him so much.

I can't sleep!! EVER!!!!! Melatonin helps a little but I'm still up through out the night,,,,it's the worst feeling!!! I'm 44 & my husband who passed away on 12/31/12 6 weeks ago....we have 3 girls at home a 17, 7 & 6 yr old....our 17 yr old has problems sleeping too!!!