Things always have a way of coming out , nothing is hid forever.
Sorry your having to deal with this now. Try not to think about it, it can't be changed. Look forward, not behind.

You were being very honest with your friend. Unrequited love, or someone being attracted to you does happen. Sometimes our "friends" can presume too much when we talk to them on a basis of friendship.

I know this kind of attention that is not encouraged can be very stressful to a spouse or partner when they find out of that other person's attraction to their partner/spouse, even when your partner or spouse is the one to see it first.

But the most important thing is you told your friend you are in love with your wife. That is what matters.

Grief surfaces all mistakes to resolve our marriage/relationship ~
It can cause guilt & batter self esteem ~
Feel the remorse, then cry it out ~
Repeatedly, if necessary ~
When it's done, do or say something nice to/for yourself ~
Forgiving one's self can be a tough job ~

*** Bound by convictions, people tend to reach for what is easy. Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult. ~ Rainier Marie Rilke

Thank you for your replies. this doesn't bother me as much as other things in life. we reconciled and were closer than ever after the fact. I noticed a whole bunch of posts about cheating and I thought everyone should know my past mistakes in that area before I tried to help them.

I also think if my friend loved me so much why would she say anything. She knew I had a wife and I loved her. although their was a time or 2 that I complained about marital problems she should have realized that I loved my wife because Holly was my #1 conversation point and I told her over and over how much I loved Holly and all the great times we had together. ps. If that girl just loved me as much as she said why wouldn't she be their when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Its sorry that she would try to break up a marriage when holly was alive but not so much as phone call after she dies