Ruth, I am right there with you and I'm so sorry. I think there is always something hiding around the corner to send us trembling into a teary meltdown. I am finding those times a little less life shaking now that I know they are there. Hang in there, dear, and come here to vent and get support. We are all here for you. {{Hugs}} ~ Bailey ~

I am so sorry. I absolutely *hate* the things which blindside me in grief.
Remember, it's more than just being caught off guard. you expended a lot of coping resources during the holidays. It adds up, and you are not in top form to meet this day.
I was off guard after holidays by having a "low fuel tank" emotionally, and something took me down fast, for no reason.

Dear ruth I totally understand. our daughters birthday was this past sunday, was her first birthda without her daddy. I know this will sound predictable, but I'lll say it anyways. happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear, sweet, loving, and kind, ruthhhhhh, happy early birthday to you.. and many more...much love and gentle hugs, carla

Ruth, I know how you are feeling. it's been 12 weeks and 2 days since my Mike died. And there are times when I just want to take off running as if I could out run my feelings! Leave my emotions behind somehow . Don't know if that makes any sense. Our anniversary is coming up on Feb 14th. I can feel the anxiety just trying to creep up on me. I am so sorry you are on this gray and rough journey. But at the same time happy we are all here for each other. Sending you a very tight hug and peace
meggyk

Hi Ruth, Sounds to me like you were blessed with a wonderful marriage to a wonderful man. Juani and I were homebodies, and hated to be apart. In the early days of my career, I had to go on overnight trips to Seattle for continuing education seminars and we hated that. Eventually with technology, I could watch the same boring stuff from my laptop and not have to go anywhere. We loved that. And then she died. It is all so sad. So very sad. But eventually the same memories that make us so sad right now, will blossom into our most cherished memories. But right now we have to water those memories with our tears so they will grow into the memories we want to hold forever. ~~ Scott

scotttie.. loved your comment, made me cry. love carla

Thank you all. Your words of understanding and encouragement mean so very much. It takes a great person to offer support to others when they are grieving themselves.

Ruth

Ruth, I'm sorry you are so sad and I get it. These past holidays were the "firsts" for me, too. Maybe you could do what I did on Christmas... I recvd. a small present from Dan in Heaven. I'll pray for you. Hugs, Morita

Ruth, I hope you have the best birthday possible but I know it will be tough for you. I am at 11 months today and still cry daily and I never know what will trigger it. I am finding as Scott said my tears often turn to cherished memories and I can manage a smile sometimes in the midst of a breakdown. Just hang in there it does get easier just give it some time. Take care ~Pete

I just realized last weekend that my Son's do not send me cards for any occasion. It just facebook or texts. So I miss my Tim for that he always got me cards and he was very picky about what they said.
You never know what you'll miss until it's not there.
Hugs, Sandi

Such great people here, although I wish we could have "met" under different circumstances.

Ruth