Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
When my wife died I was home trying to get some rest after running on no sleep for three days. On New Years Eve I went to the bathroom at 3 am and heard her phone ringing. The hospital was calling her phone instead of mine and she passed before I could get there. Her eyes were still open and no matter what I did I couldn't get them to close. All I could do was lay in bed with her and apologize for being late, but that's all I can think about. When she died I felt like I died with her, I wish I had. What am I going to do after spending the last 28 years with someone I came home to everyday. The house has never been so empty.
Tank, don't feel guilty it is such a wasted emotion and changes nothing, it's only purpose is too torture us...You Loved your wife and I'm sure she knew that..I know grief is the worst pain you'll ever experience, but unfortunately there are no short-cuts through it..you have to go straight through it in order to heal...It took me many months to accept the fact Dennis wasn't coming back..But when I finally accepted it that's when the real healing began...Everyone heals at their own pace. Don't let anyone tell you, you should be over it in x amount of time..You will never be over it, but you will find a normal for yourself, and you never stop missing them...I know Dennis would never want me to keep grieving, he used to say when I was having a bad day or upset with someone, Gail get over it
this too shall pass. he was usually right....
Take care of you right now Tank, Sleep and eat when you can..If you have too see a doctor..I finally had too four month in..My daughters made me go and I'm glad I did..It was the anxiety that was the worst for me..I took something for it and was able to function again...I had never taken anything more than an Advil..I now take nothing..Keeping busy and having a daily routine helped also..
Talk to your wife and tell her to give you a sign she is still with you..I and my daughters and grand kids have had many signs from Our skeptic...Dennis...There are some that I have posted under Signs by Laurie, dated 12/22/16...And there are a couple of other postings on the subject...
Come here often Tank, there are many wonderful people who post here who are willing to share their grieve journey with you and help you.
Don't cry because it's over..Smile because it happened....Dr. Seuss....
Peace and hugs....Gail....
Here is a list of books you might like to read;
Everlasting Love...Patrick Matthews..
Never Say Goodbye...Patrick Matthews..
Imagine Heaven..John Burke..
The Afterlife of Billy Fingers....Annie Kagan...
The Chicken Soup for the Soul..books;
Miraculous Messages from Heaven..
Touched by an Angel...
Dreams and Premonitions...
You can find these on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel..
Take care, Tank....Peace and Hugs....Gail....
It seems as if I have to earn my way back into society. I'm a full time author since I left work to become a caregiver to my wife. It's a solitary life that I don't believe I am designed for. It seems everyone has someone that they can go to and share a few laughs. I've been going to a walking park here in Orlando, most are paired up, but I feel this is where I will be able to re-enter life among the living.
Valentines Day is coming Tuesday, my birthday a week later. This will be the first time I'll be alone.
Thanks for giving me your time and that goes for you too mysweetie2
For now, concentrate on your sweet wife and take care of you. Let the tears flow, they cleanse the loss. Visit with us as often as you want. Having the people here who truly understand what we are going through was a tremendous help and the reason I remain to help others. Sharon
I have bad days and then not so bad days. You and the others here know what I'm going through. I have no other support group here with me. My family live in the Northeast while I live in Orlando. The only people I actually speak to are those who work at the supermarket. I feel loneliest when I'm in a crowd. When my wife died my confidence died with her. I've never been an introvert, but now it seems I've become one. I'm confident that I will emerge from my shell some day, but I just don't know what to say without bringing up my wife, and no one wants to talk about that.
Thanks for being here for me. You know what it's like.
Take care, Tank...we who have been on this journey longer (20 months today, Sundays are the worst for me) are willing to share our journey through grieve with you, and tell you it does get easier, not to say you won't have sad days, you will..but I now find since I've accepted Dennis's death it makes easier to smile and I'm long past feeling any guilt over Dennis's passing, it serves no useful purpose and changes nothing... Peace....Gail...
Remember yesterday, Dream of tomorrow, but Live for Today, even though it hurts to do so sometimes....;-)..
All of us here have had our hearts torn apart yet we must go on and you will too. Today will be a hard day for me because I thought it would be a great idea to propose to my wife. That was 28 years ago and now I have to face this day alone, but I will find a way to get through it and so will you.
Take your time with the grief, it has to work on it's own schedule, but I'm here to tell you that life goes on all around you. People aren't ignorant, they just haven't suffered through the loss that you and your daughter went through.
Keep us updated and come back often. I thought God hated me and I wanted to be dead too, but I don't feel like that anymore and this place is part of that reason. Don't give up, we are here for you.