Hello WG, I am so sorry for for the pain that you are feeling at this time. It is truly a gut wrenching physical pain (my eyes are tearing up as I write this). Losing such an integral part of our lives has a deep and profound impact on us. When grief grips me like this, I try to take slow, deep breaths and slow, deep exhales.
If appropriate, you might seek out a minister in your local area. My minister has helped me process the emotions and the pain. When appropriate, a grief support group might help also. I have joined a group called Griefshare. They have groups across the country. Their website is Griefshare.org.
One step, One Minute, One hour, One day at a time.
Blessing, Peace, Hope and Healing for you for today, and for all those that are hurting.... Mark
and yes, hugs also...

God is with you dear, you know what Travis was lucky to have you and you were lucky to have him, people repent for the sins they have committed in their past life Travis did and god thought of lending him a savior and a companion in the form of you, just imagine him going through this alone all by himself, i must say that he was happy in the end to have a caring and loving wife like you, just keep your distance from his family, don't think too much about it (by all means Travis was happy to have you till the end). just get a job, do something to take your mind off of these things you are 32 you have another 28 years ahead of you, take care of your mother and don't take pain killers you are fine, just search for "natural remedies for migraine" and stop thinking (caused by sitting idle)

Hi WG, I understand your pain. Its very intense. I have been facing similar pain. It tears your chest into pieces. Prayers and healing for you. You are not alone. We all share the pain.

can you apply for medicade? there are plenty of community mental health agencies that accept this form of insurance and you can get your needs met, including medication if need be and if that is acceptable to you. Also reaching out to a Pastor/Mentor can help too... The pain is real and we all need someone to help us through. Prayers to us and all of us going through this.

I am trying to get disability due to nail Patella syndome. It's a joint disease that causes deformed joints and in turn rheumatoid arthritis, sever back problems etc. Pushing travis back on the bed sped everything up and can't stand more than 5 to 10 minutes at a time. I know i made him happy, he made me happy too.he always said if it weren't for me he would have died a long time ago and always thanked me for making him get off those drugs. It's just unreal. Im releasing his ashes next saturday. I'm a bit of a wreck where that's concerned. I don't know who's going to appear and not. I don't know why I should care about that but I find I do. I thank God I had him. He saved my life too in more ways than he could understand. Thankyou everyone. It helps having others understand the pain and have acceptance. I think I'm going to take a nap. All I've done the past two days is sleep. But I had a migrain for two days, just can't shake it. I guess I'll sleep. I just wonder when I'll be able to sleep at night again. The nights are so long. If I had my own place I'd be up cleaning or watching a movie or make some jewelry. It's very quiet up here in the moutains. My old house was on the same street as a motorcycle bar. That town has become drug infested. Many of my nephews got involved. Luckily they learned just in time. Except one. He was a foster kid down the road. He was also a Pyro from 10 years old with his adoptive family. He's adapted the habit of using people then disappearing and burning bridges while he's still on them. I don't know why I'm writing this. My mind is a yoyo right now. Thankyou all for understanding.

Big hug to you dear , hang in there . The numbness and pain would eventually go . Crying won't stop but will get lessen with time . My eyes now burn and swollen n hurts after 3 months of continuous crying that I can't cry anymore . I feel like an ugly stinky lump of flesh just breathing so I can feel your pain . Drink lots of water and focus on a min at a time . People here are wonderful and have helped me through this dark journey , so stay here

I will. And thabk you.

Hi WG, i understand truly how you feel and i have been through the same. Try some breathing exercise to calm yourself down. Drink lots of water. Its harsh reality of life which we need to face. Just hang in there. Time will lessen the pain.