Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I'm having a very hard time dealing with my Husbands sudden death.. He was only ill 11 days all totaled.. |He passed away March 12th. He hadn't been ill before being sent home from work on the 1ST of March..He died of a bacterial infection that attacked his heart and every organ in his body. The coroner has been called in as he didn't receive the proper care while in hospital to fight the infection.. The Coroner told us he should be still here he should never have dided from this.. I want and need answers as do our Two children..
My husband was my rock and he took such good care of me as I'm losing my sight.
I didn't know a person could cry so much or have so many tears.. \I try not to cry infront of the kids but I just can't help it..
I find the Grandchildren trying to understand is the hardest.. Our 5 year old Grandson asked his |Mum if Poppa had come home from Heaven yet. We explained to my Great-Grandson who is 2 1/2 and was his Poppa's buddy that his Poppa is up in the sky with the sun. stars, moon and clouds.. that seems to have gotten through to him right now but he still comes in and goes into his Poppa's room and says he is just checking incase.. that breaks my heart and I have to hide the tears just don't want to upset him..
My husband was my rock and he took such good care of me as I'm losing my sight.
I didn't know a person could cry so much or have so many tears.. \I try not to cry infront of the kids but I just can't help it..
I find the Grandchildren trying to understand is the hardest.. Our 5 year old Grandson asked his |Mum if Poppa had come home from Heaven yet. We explained to my Great-Grandson who is 2 1/2 and was his Poppa's buddy that his Poppa is up in the sky with the sun. stars, moon and clouds.. that seems to have gotten through to him right now but he still comes in and goes into his Poppa's room and says he is just checking incase.. that breaks my heart and I have to hide the tears just don't want to upset him..
Again, I am so sorry. Lisa
Take care of yourself first, take it slow, one tiny step at a time, let yourself go throught these rough first times ask for help, but do not let anyone tell you what you should or should not feel. Kids are resilent, they can bounce back good, they understand more than you think, and your crying they understand.
You can cry, vent, ask for help here, these people are great....
I wish you well....A Big HUG
Our son is a long haul trucker and the day his Dad passed I gave him his Dad's wedding ring to wear so he has him with him at all times to look out for him.. thank you for your support..
Lois
My husband, Jeff, also died unexpectedly after a heart procedure. Still in the hospital the night after his surgery, he died in his sleep. He was only 51. He passed away December 14th. So, I am not very far ahead of you on this journey. But I can say that each day is hard, but not as hard as the day before.
Prayers to you and your family. Liz
Linda
This place was a life line. I did not think so when it happened. But I kept coming back reading here, listening and talking after awhile. Also my son needed me. Just like your family needs you. Hang in there, not saying it will ever stop being painful. But you will survive. That is all any of us can do. Be kind to yourself. Listen to your own heart and take however long you need in this grief.
hugs,
Cie
Hugs
Dorothy
It can be especially hard on grandchildren-my husband loved and enjoyed each one of ours and they took it hard. If they are older, they may be able to send a letter to heaven, as one of mine did. Another one of mine wrote a "book" (a gradeschool literary project) about pop-pop, including pics of him and dedicated it to her little sister. She was born six months before he died and my granddaughter was upset that the youngest would never get to meet him. These things can be real tear jerkers but I think it is important for them to grieve also and be able to talk about their loss to you. It may be harder for them to understand depending upon the age but one thing is for sure, they have real feelings . My only advice is to hug them frequently! Grandchildren can be very comforting. Hoping you will soon find peace.
So sorry for your loss. My husband died suddenly, also. He died of sudden cardiac arrest. I did CPR, but, it didn't affect him at all. He was standing propped against a doorframe and just suddenly fell. We were at a Christmas/birthday party at one of my best friend's house. (my birthday -- yes, he died on my birthday).
The shock, PAIN, and disbelief was so extremely HARD!! I just simply could NOT wrap my mind around the fact that he was gone~~ forever!! I don't believe there is any other PAIN like that ~~ totally devastating.
It has been 3 yrs and 3 months now. I can attest to the fact that you learn to adjust to the new "normal" of not having your husband, your love, your lover. It does take TIME though.
Be good to yourself, drink plenty of water, take vitamins and TRY to rest. I know, but do try.
As for the grandkids, they may have a hard time for a while, mine did. They have accepted the fact that Papa Joe is gone now, but, they still remember him. Lots of hugs, and talk about it when they want to talk, that's what I did.
Sorry you needed to find a site like this, but, this one is great. Wonderful people here. Read, write, journal, vent, cry, ask questions ~~ whatever you need to do. Do it. Someone will be here for you. We all care.
Hugs, Joely
fran