Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members

19,465 Posts

0 Online

npc4204 05/03/2015

My husband's first heavenly birthday was May 1st.
I cried the night before, just thinking of him. Then I thought of his medical problems, how his health had declined, and I was comforted by the fact he's no longer suffering.

I spent his birthday with a good friend. We went shopping at the outlet mall, enjoying the lovely sunny day. Then we stopped at a Mexican restaurant for an early dinner.
I kept my mind on things other than my grief.

It's been 10 months for me, and I just want those of you who are recently widowed to know that it will get better.
I can now look at his picture and smile instead of sobbing uncontrollably.

One day at a time ... that's all we can do.

Hugs,
Janie

dschwartz 05/04/2015

Janie . . . atta girl . . keeping the positive thoughts coming for those that are behind us. I'm so happy to hear that you are managing well. I know it's not easy . . . but you are a tribute to the "one day at a time" mantra. Hugs, Dayna

handg 05/04/2015

one day at a time, baby steps, you have to learn to walk before you can run...All tools for grieving aren't they... Good for you to have planned a day with a friend and live instead of exist. He was with you regardless and proud of you. xoxo

JesusisOurSaviour 05/04/2015

Janie,
You survived, that one. Someone here, wrote, the grief waves get smaller, I believe that's true. Just recently, I also survived a wave that, I was above the water, at least, I was able to navigate!!
Sounds like you had a lovely day with your friend. I hope you have many more,
Hugs.....Sandra

matoacalady 05/04/2015

It gives me courage and hope to read posts like yours Janie......I have to have hope,,,,,,,some days I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

thank you for sharing.

Jen

bookdragon 05/04/2015

thank you for your post! it is good to know that this hurt may lessen over time. Patti

calgaryhair 05/04/2015

Your post gives me such hope. When I look back over the past three months I do see where I have slowly healed. Though I doubt we are ever completely healed as we are forever changed. Hugs and thank you to you !! You turned what could have been a sad negative day to a pleasant positive day. Proud of you!

npc4204 05/04/2015

Thank you, my friends!
Ten months ago I didn't think I'd ever survive, those days were so heartbreaking, sad, dark and tearful.
But we do survive, we have to.

Hugs,
Janie

maryelnew 05/04/2015

thank you for the post you give me hope. My husbands b.day will be May 21st. the day before the 2 month anniversary of his death. At first I was going to spend it with just he and I, a trip to the cemetary (I have not been alone there yet) and then taking myself out to lunch. But, then I thought about it some more and I've invited close family and friends that wanted to go as well. I am up to 9 at this point, I don't want it to get too much larger, but it will be ok if it does. I'm already a little nervous about it. But, I think it will be an appropriate way to spend the day. I just wish the lettering would be on his stone by then but I know it won't. But, it is a family plot so at least there is a headstone and there is chance his military foot marker will be down by then.

Join the Conversation