to Silverfox. If I were you, I'd tell your inlaws that yes you are planning something. You are planning to spend the day alone, to just remember all the special times you & your husband shared. There isn't anything wrong with wanting to be alone.

You & I are sort of in a similar situation. I too will be selling my house & I am dreading it. I still have my husband's clothes in his closet. I also started a job, although it definitely is not a hard job to do, its just hard to get though the day. I thought keeping busy was to help us, not sure about that right at this moment. Good luck to you.

I agree with Katexyz, tell your family that you just want to spend the time alone with the many happy memories you have of your husband... it is indeed just hard enough getting through the day, sometimes quiet time is a blessing...
Is there anywhere near your home that you and you husband would go for a walk... dont know if you have a river or seafront near you...just sitting outside alone.. this journey of ups and downs is such an emotional roller coaster...
Sending you a friendly smile all the way from Scotland UK.. hoping that you find some inner peace through out this ever so sad journey..

Hello Silverfox, I am very sorry for your loss. I think your in-laws are being insensitive by expecting you to celebrate your husband's death. My husband has been gone for six months and when I get to the year, the last thing I will want to do is celebrate. They should be making a special dinner for YOU if anything. I hope things get better for you and the sale of yore house. Take care

I agree with Stephanie - they should make dinner for you, not vice-versa. Suggest they organize whatever they think they want and that you will try to attend, but that you are busy trying to sell the house, work, etc. They do seem awful clueless....

We've all been through so many changes, and are still going through more changes. Sometimes I am just sick and tired of adjusting to new stuff. I am leaving for Florida tomorrow to clear the last of our things from my house and sell it. I am dreading it. I am trying to remind myself that this will have a positive side to it, but it still feels overwhelming, and it still feels unfair that my life has had to change so much, even though I have so much to be grateful for and there have been good changes, too. So I understand some of what you're feeling, I think.

2 years is a tough milestone. It is the finality of it that usually hits you hard at 2 years. You will get through this, honest. Don't let the turkeys get you down. We understand what you're dealing with. Will keep you in my good thoughts and prayers this week especially.

Love and Big Hugs,
Martha

Thank you, thank you so much Kztexyz, ScottishL, Stephanie and Martha for all your support. You all have brought me some comfort and a smile and a special message from Scottland, that's so wonderful. I think overwhelm is the case right now, too much going on all at the same time. Wish you all a wonderful day and or a happy mother's day.

Hello, Silverfox . . .
I understand how easy it is to let your mind fool you into thinking your husband is away. Sam and I were working toward the day that we could live together, so it is easy to think of him tinkering around in his garage or working on blueprints at his desk at work. Then the harsh realization comes flooding back. At 8 months, I am still way too new in my grief to offer anyone else advice, but I will say this. Unless I read your post incorrectly, you have already responded to requests from your in-laws by hosting two dinners in honor of your husband. I believe you have done more than enough, and you deserve to spend the coming anniversary as YOU see fit.

I sincerely wish you peace and comfort on that day . . .

Simple answer, "Yes I am going to spend it with him and our time together."
I know on my second anniversary it was hard, different things would set me off. I did have lunch though with the woman who was my maid of honor, also my brothers widow.

Update. I did not do anything with my in-laws because I had to work also. My older daughter did not even mention anything about her dad. My second daughter checked on me asked if I'd cried. Yes I did and she cried several times too. Her husband only knew my husband for less than a year. He cooked a seafood dinner for us. He rounded out the dinner with hot apple pie and ice cream. I took one look and memory came back that was what my husband would order for us when we were dating. They said they knew and that's why they choose that dessert. I was so emotional and thankful. Thank you for all your replies and support.