I have no advise on handling this, but I do understand the hurt you are feeling. The only thing I can think of is to ask your minister and show him/her the email and ask for advise. I think the people involved in this way of treating you were very insensitive to your feelings. Sharon

Thank you.

Wow... I am so sorry...I just can't imagine this happening....My church hasn't checked on me, tried to help me at all. your church is supposed to be your Christain Family. I can see, if they offered to fulfill your position until you felt up to it, but this is terrible.....

I believe I am going to try a different church, for me. People treat you like you have a disease. not just at church, but everywhere.

First let me say, I am sorry for the death of your husband and this walk through grief and all that comes along with it.

This is a tough one, and I completely understand your hurt feelings. I have been amazed at who is actually there for you and who isn't when the devastating times come. I know I was fairly clueless in how to be supportive to my friends in different circumstances before my husband died. I have more compassion and a desire to be "there" for others. I know what helps me, and what doesn't. I have also been surprised at who steps up beside me and understands to the best of their ability, and who can't handle being there.

It hurts all the more when these are women at church who could and really should be more compassionate. I think what Sharon has to say is a good place to take this. I wish you the best in hopefully easing some of the hurt with the Executive Committee. We all here know how much time and effort it takes to walk towards healing and needless hurts from others along the way just add to the pain.

I have also been disgusted by my Church. I am basically housebound, so asked for the Sacrament to be brought to me. I requested this 4 years ago, and no one has even been to visit, never mind to bring spiritual nourishment. They do however know where to send the mail asking for donations. In my lifetime I think I shall see the pews empty, vocations unfilled and the demise of the church as we know it.

I think I would go directly back to the chair of the committee and ask why your duties were reorganized under a new position, and tell her you would like to put your name in for the role as you enjoyed it so much. Have a frank but loving discussion about it. Unless your pastor is actively involved with the committee's duties, that may just cause hard feelings. Will the chair or the committee feel like you went over their heads if you discuss it with the pastor?

There may be some innocent reason why this has transpired. They may have been afraid to automatically put you forward for the new role as they may be uncertain how you would feel about that. Without knowing all the people involved, it would be difficult to say what was behind it.

Generally, it is easiest to be direct and clear with the person or persons involved, provided you can do that without anger. This is one of those situations where the question "what would Jesus do?" may be a relevant guide. It's just my opinion, but I think if you have an honest but loving conversation with those involved, you will get your answers, and you may find the new role or a completely different role is better suited for you. It's better than wondering. The worst that can happen? You discover they were not nice people and you don't want to worship or work with them anymore, which is basically what you would be asking the pastor to determine for you anyway.

Be patient and be kind, approach them with love in your heart and a willingness to listen; I think then you will get your answers and be able to be at peace about it.

Just my two cents.... Let us know how it works out. Will say a prayer for you...

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I noticed two things in your post. First, you like your church, and people from that church like you; you have established relationship there, and a history. They were supportive when you needed them; also it is the group that initially selected you to serve in some volunteer leadership position. Now, because of the change in your life, sometimes people assume they unburden you by giving you space. Maybe this is the case.
When I lost my husband, my faculty job was in question; I was offered to take time off. I was offended first, but looking back I see their point; I could not offer much because grief was so debilitating. My other volunteer positions had to go. At least i had a sense to send a resignation letter to the Boards, etc., explaining that I needed to devote my time to heal from my loss. I had received nice replies asking to come back whenever I was ready.
In your situation, I would consider the fact that you do need to take your time to heal, and your family needs you.
At the same time, I agree that they should consult with you whether you are able and willing to continue and want run in the future.
I would have addressed it in the utmost professional way, indicating that you are still interested; and while you do understand their concerns, you would prefer to stay. However, reassure them that if you unable to perform, you give them sufficient time to select a replacement for you.
Lastly, I cannot imaging my recovery without my church, it was my healing ground; I just wanted to be surrounded by that healing love. And it worked.
I wish you wisdom and seeing a larger picture whatever approach you choose. Hope it will work out.
Blessings.

This does sound so unfair, but I would email them back and ask to be considered for the position, since it entails your previous job descriptition. "I greatly enjoyed the services and support I was able to provide in my previous position and feel strongly that you could be of assistance with the new position. based on previous experience. Include that it is a help to be involved in a greater goal, as well as the first hand experience you will be able to offer in the future for those that will ultimately find themselves in your position. That maintaining the spiritual, as well as social connection is very important for those that lose a spouse. Please consider this as an interested candidate letter." .... If your friends are part of the same group, have them formally nominate you.

I want to add, that it could be a misguided effort to allow you time to grieve. Some people do better by being pro active. Others, especially older in thought, think that a new widow would feel more comforted with less responsibility/activity. As a native it isa common belief of one year to not participate in events (for different reasons). These would include social gatherings and participating in rituals.