Hi Silee! I am sorry for your loss and that you are now on the grieving journey. All of us DS are here to help you. You are not alone!! You and your children are in the early stages of losing your loved one. The first months are an emotional and raw roller coaster ride. I am still on it. However, I am at 6 months and finding the day's are getting easier. I have decided to not put any decorations out and am running away to a Hotel Resort with a widow I know here. I am trying to remember the reason for the season and try to find comfort from the Lord during this holiday season. Do you have family where you live now? Perhaps it is time to reconnect or start new traditions. It will be very difficult for all of us. Hugs. Sue

Silee: First I am so sorry for your loss. Secondly, this is a complicated question. I did nothing the first year but my husband and I had no children. Do as you feel and please be kind to yourself. Also, know that you are not alone on this journey. I wish I had a better answer but that is all I have. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hi Silee,
I am deeply sorry for your loss. This will be a trying time for you and your children.
I am not sure how old your children are. If they are still fairly young, they will rely on you to make all their decisions, even for gifts. I would still have gifts and a Christmas dinner. They have lost their dad, their homer, their dog their friends, they need some security, which only you could provide.
If they are older, then it is different, still accounting for the fact of all their losses. They will still need to know their mum is ok and can function.
My heart gives out to young parents faced with the loss of their loved ones. I can only imagine what is must be like to have to make every single parental decision alone.
Whatever you decide, I wish you all the very best of everything.
Big hugs and love to you,
Sandra.

You are to do whatever you want. That includes celebrating the holidays or not. Supporting each other in what we need is the key, but at a crucial time like this it's about you, your choices, and not being judged for your feelings and your choices.
I'm sure moving back to the beauty part of the world is hard leaving your friends here and makes it harder. But from my experience, people move on with their lives and unless they have been through such loss have no idea what we struggle with. Take care of you and we will be there for you to begin healing from this devastating loss. Sharon

Thank you for your support. Just trying to take things one moment at a time. Sometimes I feel so anxious. I now have to apply for a job. Doing my CV is a task on its own. But I know I have to do it/ I have started finding meaning in prayer and meditation once more.
I know I have to push myself, since my kids are young.

Christine

I do not have children and agree that you need to do what you and your children need to...my other thought is this. Are you Christians? The reason I ask is that for me, I try to focus on what Christmas is about...the birth of Jesus. This helps me. Just a thought.

Silee, I'm sorry that you've lost your husband and all the added heartbreaking losses that came with it. I read that one year a family made a special "Dad" Christmas tree. It was decorated with things such as Nascar patches, golf ornaments, old neck ties, etc. They covered the tree with just about anything that reminded them of their late father & husband.

Silver, I am so very sorry for your loss. Your husband was so young, and it's so unfair that you and your children have such heartbreak.
We are here for you.

Hugs,
Janie

Silee, not silver ... autocorrect on my kindle ... sorry!

I am so very sorry for your loss. If there is family or friends near, I would suggest trying to be around them if possible. This is going to be my 1st Christmas in 24 years without my wife. I am taking a trip to go spend it with my parents and sister. Hopefully that will get me through until February.

My thoughts and everyone else's here are with you.

-Dennis

Silee, I lost my 42 year old husband to Kidney cancer in October and also have two children. My children may be a little older than yours (11 & 14) but it's very hard to want to do anything this year. At first I thought we were going to my parents house in the mountains but the more I thought about it I realized there isn't much to do there and I would sit around and "think" too much. We've decided to stay home and my parents will be at our house. This gives me the opportunity to have friends over to help distract me. I've also decided we are going to have an open house the day after Christmas. Hopefully it will be a nice distraction with family and friends. I hope you and your children find what will help to get you through this difficult holiday.