I wish I had some brilliance for you- feeling the same way. Lost my wife three weeks ago. I committed to my daughter and sons that I promise "not to pursue a relationship for a year" just so I can breathe and I sensed the relief in my 10 y.o. Daughter's eyes. Not looking forward to "dating" at ANY time; but also curious as you are how to do it.

Good to know im not alone in this idea, @Bstillnknow86. I don't know when I'll be ready. But when the time comes, I just can't imagine mentally or physically connecting with anyone. Hard to picture myself back out on the "dating" scene.

Nani, I wish that I could give you a hug, because I could use one to. The grief surrounding your loss is not uncommon to those that have lost a loved one. The same questions are endless. Is there another out there that can love as much as the one's that we've lost? Can I move on without the guilt of the possibility of falling in love again? How much time do we need before we find that special someone to fill the void that is left behind? I don't have any answers, but we all have to have some sort of faith in our ability to carry on.

Nani, you stated the key to this. You have your whole life ahead of you. Sweetheart, its only been 47 days. Cut yourself some slack. You need time to process what's happened. You don't have to have any answers about the future right now or even a year from now. All you need to do is focus on getting through the days, hours, etc. I say this because I was the same way when my husband died. I wanted all the answers right away and to stop hurting. Only now am I starting to figure things out, two years down the road. Don't worry about dating yet. Your heart will let you know when it's ready. Peace to you and hang in there.

I lost my husband 9 years ago and I felt the same as you described. Actually we don't "move on " in the sense of being okay with what happened. We get through it with tears, anger, jealousy, and often guilt. We search for our individuality rather than a partner. We find out we have strength we never believed. And we accept the reality of the change in our life and we find that the memories we shared are blessing. HugSharon

Nani, I'm sorry for your loss. It has been 15 months for me, and I am feeling, as you said, there might not be an opportunity to find greater love. We don't know that for sure, do we?

I have collected a lot of articles in my journal section. I think that doing so has helped me. You can take a look at it if you wish. But long story short, if you can allow yourself to feel and to express various loss, it will be painful each time, but you will feel stronger as well. Try to build your confidence a bit at a time, and try to be around people so you don't feel isolated. Try to think about happy things. Life may not be as grand, but you will find enough strength to move on day after day, and week after week. Each time when grief grips you remind yourself that this is necessary, and like euphoria, this shall pass as well.

I'm heading into month 9, also young (early 30s), lost the love of my life tragically and unexpectedly. At this point, after grief therapy (still going), and just feeling the pain, I have taken an interest in someone, but nothing I'm ready to act on. For a moment in time I felt normal, I did not feel guilt, but i am still not ready. No one will ever love me the way that Chad did, I will never love someone the way I loved him, because that was our love, that was our story. I have realized I will open my heart again because he would want me to, but that love will be different... I am different.

Well said Missinghim, I feel the same way about missing my wife and sense that when "someday"may happen (if ever) that it will feel like a counterfeit to what I had with Laura. I've seen blogs where women have warned others from dating widowers that have "deified" their departed. I hope, for our own sakes, that should we entertain another love in this life that we don't compare too much. I've found when I compare in life I only get two results: Pride or shame, neither serve me well long term. I love your statement that you are different---I'm working on what that looks like for me now after only 25 days. It's daunting, buy I have hope and am not alone.

it's only been three weeks today since Sean passed - i went in to the jewerly store of where we bought my wedding ring to have it cleaned, and the song " I will always love you" came on...i nearly lost it but no way can i take this ring off my finger. I lost him tragically , without warning. It was a tough day.

I lost my. Husband on March 22 this past spring. I've come to realize I will never move on, I'll move forward with life. He was such a part of me, made such an impact on me that there will never be any moving on or getting me vet it. He will forever be in my heart so I'll move forward with him through life.
Hugs, Laurie

Well, first off, you are right, you are young, but you will never love anyone the same way, or be loved in the exact same way. And you will come to realize that is okay, it is normal, it is life. But that doesn't mean you won't love again, fiercely and totally, in a totally different way. And that doesn't mean you won't be loved again, fiercely and totally, in a totally different way. The human heart is ever expansive, it grows and expands if we let it.

Right now, concentrate on you, concentrate on being kind to yourself. I spent a lot of time working on being the person I wanted to be, a person I enjoyed spending time with and being. I learned to try to grow through my grief, to accept my faults and flaws, my broken heart. To realize that broken heart made me a better, kinder, more compassionate person. That I could still use my broken heart to do good in this world and my little life. And I met someone, who doesn't love me the same way that J.R. did, but loves me in his own way, and I love him in my own way, the way I am now. And it is messy, wonderful, tragic and brilliant. It's love, it works. We aren't perfect but we are kind and loving. I say Pat is my second chance not my second choice.

Breathe, grow, grieve and expand. See where life takes you, you never know what is around the corner.
Hugs,
Val

There will never be a "moving on" you push forward, and create you new normal with out your husband/wife. Its never the same, I know that firsthand. Our loved ones wouldnt want us sad, unhappy or alone. That being said, I don't necessarily mean that in an intimate/romantic way either. They would be happy/joyous for us, no matter what we chose. Alone, by yourselves, or having a companion/friend. Regardless, there will be many days you take one step forward and perhaps two steps back. That is all normal, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Just take one hour at a time. Don't feel the rush or need to move to be with someone else, or do it with someone else. Take your time to get to know yourself, again without your bestfriend/soulmate. It takes some time, four us to accept that they are no longer here, and will never be with us, in the physical sense. May you have some peace as time goes on, and be able to smile again. Much love and hugs carla

It takes along time! Go min by min or sec by sec!
U will never be the same! How can u!
But little by little hopefully u will get secs of peace!
My thoughts and prayers r with u

It's been 3 months for me and I can't imagine or picture myself with anyone else . I feel I m not the sane person anymore , I am not myself , not smiling , not happy . Just do whatever I can to get through each day . Don't feel like seeing the world outside and like being in complete isolation . So yes I have the same questions too . I still cry for hours together . Is that all normal or m taking too long ? I still haven't gather strength to look at his stuff . And yes we don't move on we move forward.