Linda and I always wanted to start a business together but the opportunity never presented itself. The closest I can come to this is all the household upkeep, food shopping bill paying, keeping up with the dogs medical stuff and holding down a full time job while trying somewhere in there to take of myself is overwhelming. I know I'm overlooking something somewhere. Just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Have you thought about hiring someone to co-run the business. Some one you trust enough to hand over some of the responsibilities to. You could take care of you and keep your business going.
Peace, Tim

My husband and I, for the most, had separate careers. He was owned several properties and had a share in a company. In addition, he attempted to take care of two family farms. I say attempted because he always was trying to put out figurative fires everywhere as well as trying to take care of me and our family to the best of his ability.

It was rare for me to get involved in his business. I chose to remain uninvolved for many different reasons- but mostly because he never would take my advice on anything. So, for me, avoiding involvement meant avoiding arguments. He preferred me to stay out of his business- he told the kids that if I had my way, we'd sink more money into the rentals than we could ever hope to recoup- and he was probably right. The only time he really ever wanted or needed my help was when he'd get a tenant that was causing him problems. I was the eviction expert. I don't think he ever had a tenant that needed to be evicted that I didn't have to get involved. And- once I got involved the formal eviction notice from the courts was never needed. I have a talent for making socio-paths that don't want to pay their rent feel guilty enough to leave on their own.

Now I am forced into a position where I have to do it all. And it isn't easy.

This is how I am managing- and it is pretty simple. If someone says, "Can I help..." My answer is always yes. Many of Bernie's friends were his business associates and I go to them for advice and they will either offer to do it- or if it is something I can learn to do quickly enough to get it done in a timely manner- they will show me how to do it.

It is not fun- and I'm not sure that I can do it for the long haul- but right now, to remain financially solvent- I must do it. It is hard for me to accept help- My husband was the only one that I ever trusted enough to be dependent on for anything. To have to ask for help is very humbling for me. The alternative is to drown in financial debt and lose everything that my husband worked to achieve.

The old song says, "People who need people are the most beautiful people in the world." If this is true, I'm darn near gorgeous these days."

I hope I've helped you a little.

When Cliff died, I was working a full-time job, we were partners in his business, he was involved in my own part-time business, and we were building a family corporation with my older son and with the intention that after the younger son graduated that he, too, would be part of the business.

Then Cliff died of a heart attack.

I had to close down his business, close down my business, close down the family business, get his clients moved to a competitor (a lot of them had been friends as well as clients), and do all the taxes and business licnese stuff myself, the close-outs, etc. It was terrible. And everytime I had to contact anyone I had to explain what happened, so wound up reliving the nightmare of his death over and over again.

My advice to you is that if you want to continue the business, then hire temporary help to get you through the crisis. My circumstances were unusual, and there really was no other choice for me except to shut everything down. That is probably not your situation.

Cliff and I had met working together. We went on to work together at more than one firm, and we also were community activists together. Even when our private personal life was in bad shape, we were still an incredibly effective team. I miss that so much.

I am sorry for your loss and the multiple ancillary losses that go with losing the one who is not just your life partner but also your business partner. My ego took a real bruising when I had to shut down 3 businesses in the wake of his death. I felt like such a failure, which was another reason why getting some counseling helped me. I eventually saw that I was not a failure, some things just are not in my hands or within my ability to stop.

My life is completely different now. But it is for the most part pretty good. You can get through this, and it will be worth it to keep going. Honest. Hang in there.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

You do what you feel in your heart. No one can judge you, nor should they. Most don't have a clue what we are going through. You are doing a great job, and just do what you can, or if helped is offered, graciously accept, humbleness, does not mean you are week, it means you can't do it alone. No one should have to do it all alone. I'm finding that out the hard way. Now if someone asks iff I need help, I think about it, and think, no only am I blessed by receiving help, but the one who helps is also blessed... Much love and big hugs carla