I asked the very same question when I first found this wonderful place last Wednesday. My question was answered so beautifully and so eloquently by so many good people here. The answer?? Your tears will stop when they stop. My Barbara passed away on June 18th and my tears flow daily. The difference is that I no longer fight them. I have learned that tears are God's way of cleansing my soul.....and my soul needs a lot of cleansing. So embrace your tears, my friend, and do not question them..................Joe

Hang on tight and let the days be what they are. Some days you will have the energy needed to function; other days you will fall in a puddle and can't move off dead center. Do not let those days distress you. They are normal and a right of passage of sorts. Our grief and our tears will not be denied. Those tears of grief change into sweet tears of remembrance; our perspective changes from despair to hopefulness; and our feelings change from numb to tasting life's goodness once again, all this while hope rises to the surface.

The most important thing to remember is that the intensity with which you are feeling your loss will diminish. Your loss is so new and my words of encouragement probably ring hollow to you right now. But you will wake up one morning and feel hope beat within you. You may not have planned for it, but it will happen. It's the way life unfolds for the survivor. Hang on to your hat, it's a bumpy ride. The roller coaster of emotions does come to a halt at some point! TJ

it been almost 3 mos since Danny passed away,somedays the smallest
things will bring a day of tears.sometimes driving,checking out at a store or even waking from a dream. i know it's also early in this grief journey for me too. i feel like i'm living in a fog that clouds my thoughts & has taken purpose from my life.
sending you a big hug
i have learned so much from this wonderful site.

Imagine your grieving as a road. From where you are now to some kind of acceptance.

It's not a straight road. Sometimes it's straightish and you'll think "I'm getting somewhere".

Other times it will go in circles and you will feel stuck.

There may be times when the road loops back and you think you are more or less back where you started.

But all the time you are moving forwards.

A Courious Fish I love your post, so very true.
Sally

That's a good answer "acouriousfish" - something we all should keep in mind.

A curious fish summed it up perfectly. I lost Mark 4 months ago this Saturday and it does sometimes feel that I take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. But each day is a move forward.

Thank you for putting that so beautifully.

Chris

Sorry for your loss, welcome to DS, where no one else wanted to be either, but, alas, we are here. These first months are so full of distress, heartsick pain, and tears, and a sense of loss that borders on the likeness of falling off a high cliff. Your life has been changed forever and your mind doesn't want to accept that at this time. Being exhausted is part of all these feelings bombarding your system.
You will get through these horrible days, and you will survive. There is an inner strength that comes, unbidden, and helps you, even when you think you are at your weakest. Hang in there and be good to yourself. Don't beat yourself up for these feelings. We learn to 'go with the flow', and that is usually tears.
At this point, you will not believe that it truly does get a little easier as you work through your grief. It takes time, and only time will help.
Bless you. Hugs, Joely

Your question is open-ended since we all grieve differently but alike in many ways. Tears at times make me think I have fought back from being in this nightmare.....it does get better ever so slowly. (Those 1st few months, I woke up crying). A fellow friend on here (Martha) had stated when I first signed onto this site....."take care of yourself and drink,drink,drink lots of water" to replenish all those tears!! It does help.
So sorry for your loss.
Peace to you,
Kate

I'm so sorry for your loss. At 2 months, I felt that my grieving was just starting. Some sort of "novocaine" was wearing off and it was hitting me for real. The reality has gotten stronger and stronger and the feelings more intense (I'm just past 6 months). There is no "backsliding" on this journey and certainly not as early in the process as you are. Be gentle with yourself and don't force any kind of expectations on yourself. This will take you in some sense or another till the end of your life.

Hugs, Gail