If I know I don't enjoy something, then I don't participate. The women I work with frequent bars and nightclubs. I don't enjoy that and I know I don't. I thanked them for their invitation, but I told them I would always decline. I usually meet them for dinner before they go to the bar and then I go home. My friends are very tolerant and understanding, but they continue to invite me and it's become a joke between us. They know I'm going to decline.

For me, I would rather be home with my dog and cat than somewhere that I don't want to be even with friends. Again, that is me and if you feel you need to give it a try then make sure you drive yourself in case you want to leave before everyone else.

My husband always said I was a "nester" and that I wanted to stay in my comfort zone and I realized a long time ago that he was right.

Nessie from KY

I say go for it. You won't know you hate it for sure until you at least give it another try??? What have you got to loose, and it gives you time out and away from your mind?? If you hate it don't do again, but you may find that you have changed and I would hate to see you miss out on an opportunity to do something and have companionship if nothing else??
Just my two cents.

Trust your instincts. You know what your preferences are. However, trying something once won't hurt anything. If you don't like it, you don't have to go again. Remember when we were kids and were introduced to a new food? Mom would say to take at least one bite. Then if you don't like it, you don't have to eat any more.

I never had much inclination for golf or theatre plays. However, I forced myself to go on a singles golf outing long ago and that was the day I met my husband. Last night I attended my first live play in many, many years. I actually enjoyed it. A single woman in our church invited me to go. Don't know her really but was curious about the play in an historic old 1890 playhouse.

You never know......! Good luck! If it's not dangerous or immoral or illegal, give some new things a try!

I agree, try something once, you may find you like it. Our lives have changed drastically, maybe we will find we feel differently about things we never did or never would try before. If you don't care for it, you don't have to do it again. Orrrrr maybe, you will be pleasantly surprised. Just be careful and be true to yourself...Hugs...Lin

I am not willing to do something I know I don't like just for companionship--I don't think there is anything wrong with doing that if it's worth it to you--it's just not worth it to me. If there is a possibility you might learn to enjoy dancing or if you think it would be worth it doing something you don't enjoy in order to have the companionship of other people then go for it--if you are going to be miserable then I would say skip it. I hope you are able to find something you do like that will get you out among people and enjoying the company of others.
Hugs, Wanda

I think it's a matter of your personal philosophy. If you are of a mind to try and understand why other human beings do things and enjoy them, that is, if you are curious about their experiences, then you would enjoy it purely on educational and enlightenment grounds. If, however, it is SOLELY to avoid being on your own, I think you will not enjoy it, regardless.

There is a difference between being reactive and being proactive. If you proactively seek out new experiences, which might also entail expanding your social circle as a bonus, knowing that such an expansion of your social circle is not the MAIN reason for going, I think you will be more open to having a good time. If you are only reacting to being alone, you will feel more like you are just on the receiving end of whatever happens. It's tough to look forward to anything if you approach it that way, if you feel you don't really have any power in the situation.

Personally, I think you should try it. I agree with Kathleen about the nothing dangerous, illegal, immoral bit, but knowledge is knowledge, and how can that be a bad thing?

I joined a book club here in our village. I have read a dozen books, and only one I would recommend to someone else. I was ready to throw in the towel, but have finally found common ground with a couple of the other members, and things are looking up. I wouldn't have known unless I tried, and like kynessie, I am not the bar type.

Sometimes I have to chalk some experiences up to simply expanding my knowledge base. I do know that in my lifetime I have used a lot of pieces of knowledge that I never thought I would. Life is filled with twists and turns, and you never know what you will need around the next bend.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Although I totally agree with trying the dance class I know that for me I wouldn't. I enjoy reading a good book, novel or other, and would chose that over the dance class. Now, a play or something else might get a big YES. For me it's just personal preference, but to attend ONLY to get out of the house I would chose visiting a friend, talking on the phone, surfing the w/w board or reading a book.

In any cass, do what makes you happy. Sharon

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies.
Martin

You have to stay true to yourself. That being said, you don't want to be in rut either. While I am not inclined to drink or be a party person. I did accept an invitation to meet an old school girl friend and her husband at a bar, did I drink, no and I only stayed a couple of hours and only talked to her and her husband. Would I go again, maybe for some chatting, but not to drink and not to meet men, that would be out of character for me. No, I will not do anything that I would not have done before Dave died, nothing that I would not have enjoyed doing with him.

I often will try something once or twice and I am okay with saying..."you know...others may love this...and good for them...but this is NOT for me." It is that way with Yoga for me. I hated hated hated it!! As a matter of fact afterwards I got sick and had dry heaves for a half of an hour. There was absolutely NOTHING that I found enjoyable about it. I like fast stuff and go to the gym and do a curves type work out every day and THAT IS for me. I love it. Someday I may try Zumba. I like the fast paced stuff. I love to fast walk.

You do not know how many people have told me that I will LOVE Yoga and I should give it another try. Why...because THEY love it. I get it...many many people LOVE Yoga...cool for them!! I do NOT!! Cool for me.

So how far would I go...I would go far enough to try something once or twice that I may like and then I would not have a problem with saying "No...sorry...it's not for me."

I need to live true to myself...not in others footprints...

hugs...
-Diana

I am not sure how far i will go, but i look forward to trying new things. I feel like I need a change. The old things have too many memories. Memories are good and I can keep those memories, and some stuff i did because i liked it. but the things i did because my wife enjoyed them, i am starting to slowly let some of that go. i don't want to constantly be reminded of what i don't have and i think that reaching out,being exposed to new experiences will help me to move on.
Especially if you are talking about some sort of a 'date', i would think doing something you haven't done with your spouse would mean there are fewer comparisons.

It never hurts to try something new. You may just meet a friend in doing it. If you don't like it don't go back.