I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. But, there is good news. I feel the way! My friends sincerely came to me and told me to seek therapy. I really don't want to go, but at least it could be a start to my recovery. I just feel like it's getting really difficult to do anything. I feel like I can't grow as a person anymore because I'm trap in the past. I'm trying to say positive though. I think the first step is understanding enough pain is enough and on truely wanting to help yourself. It has to come from you. You have to want to heal. Then, the solution will show itself..Good luck sweety and may you find some peace.

I also started seeinga greif councelor, and that helped me immensely. She is very spiritual and describes to me her beleifs and experiences with "after death". This has been a huge help and has helped me feel connected along with moving forward. It took me a few councelors before I found the right one, but now I have many more good days.

I also experienced a sudden death when my fiance died on January 26, 2008, exactly 4 months before we were to be married. It's been just 6 weeks. I also see a therapist and go to 2 bereavement groups. They're helpful in the sense that I know other people are experiencing what I am. Your second paragraph is exactly how I feel. A book I found really helpful is called "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye." It's about coping with sudden deaths. I hope you're able to find some peace soon. Remember people are here for you.
Sue

Its been almost 8 months since my wonderful husband passed away. I try to reason all the time death is part of life.Without death we would have no life. I am so glad I had my husband for 13 years rather than not at all.I go on wit hhim and for him as to not shame our wonderful relationship.It is hard alot of days but then stop and say is this the way Marty would want me to feel.

I appreciate the support! It is so helpful to know that I'm not alone.

To be honest, I don't know how to move on without him. His death was so sudden that it has left me in a constant state of shock. It has been ten months and it doesn't seem to be getting better.

I also have been to several bereavement groups, individual counceling, belong to a spiritualist church and have received spiritual healing. All has helped, but it still doesn't fill the massive void left by my partner.

I'm feeling your pain as I lost my husband (1 year ago this Wednesday) in a tragic motorcycle accident. The pain and anger never goes away. We've been cheated!!!! This wasn't suppose to happen!!! It sucks!!! All this is how we feel and its o.k. to feel like this. Just know that you are not alone and I too feel like you. (((Hugs))), Cathy

I know you feel bad. I've been thru it too, just three years ago for me (read my bio). The first step is always the hardest. Look for a berevement group or a counciler. It's not easy but it's the best thing to start the recovery process. Trust me.

I understand how you feel especially about wanting to go with them. i hope that your pain will lesson each day. It doesnt seem possible. Its been 6 mths for me and I am still waiting.at least we can all share our pain.

It hurts so bad and seems to go on forever.
I wanted to die.

I reasoned with myself. Am I going to chose life or death. It would be easier to chose death. More painful to life.
I thought about what my husband would want me to do. He loved life so much and clinged to it so hard.
He would want me to have a life.
So I decided on life. I made my thoughts go forward and not always in the past.
Fight your way out of it and do what your partner would be proud of you doing.

DO stuff imagining him smiling at you. He would want you to have a good live. So live it for him.

I am sorry for your loss.
I feel that time has not made things easier, if not harder.
My husband died in a auto accident on Jan 4rth, 2008. That is when my life stopped as well.

My husband died suddenly as well~ it has thrown me into shock and depression
I cant say which is worse I've read and heard living with someone terminally Ill can be very hard as well watching it day by day has to be terrible if you think about it

Sudden death I feel cheated there is so many things I would of said to my husband I told him everyday I Love You but there was so much more.... I feel cheated not sure if that's the right word to use but I had so much to say...

I have started to see a grief counselor, and that helped me immensely also and this forum I hope you know were all here for each other and if you would ever like to talk I give you my HM number.. I understand


Karen

My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer stage 3b and 35 days later he was gone. I wondered if it would have been easier sudden or knowing. For those days I watched him deteriorate so fast and I was already mourning for what I was about to lose. We really thought we would have 6 months to a year. So I kinda look at it like it was sudden, but then I knew it was incurable. But I did get to hold him and tell him how much I love him, and in the end I had to tell him that I would be ok, he could go on home. That is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, because every ounce of me was wanting him to survive and stay with me. And even though I had this opportunity the what ifs are still bogging me down. If I knew it would be that day, I wouldn't have let him rest so much. I would have talked more, laid down beside him in the bed and wrapped my arms around him. I think either way is a tragedy, and we all feel the same pain, but I did get to say goodbye. That was the only good thing about it. And I am so glad for this site because we are all facing the same horrible pain, and we can give comfort and strength to one another. It has only been 3 weeks for me, so I think the shock is starting to wear off. Hugs to all of you, Pam

Sudden death is very hard and watching it happen. To have him one minute and gone the next!! I feel cheated and so alone, 8 months 8 days.