Hello Mari, I am so sorry for your loss. You have made a first step. Everybody here shares the heartache that you are going through. I am 2 months into the process. Just as you, I feel lost, I do not know where to go, How can I fill this gaping hole in my life. Be kind to yourself......
At times I take my life day by day, sometimes hour by hour and at other times minute by minute...
The people on this site will listen to you and support you. I have poured out parts of my life to them and they have responded..... Blessing, Peace and Hope for today and tomorrow...... Mark

Hi Mari,
God Bless you for reaching out dear one. I am so very sorry for your loss. You are still in the early stages of grief (no matter what anyone else says) so please take your time, grieve however it's best for you and your family but do let yourself grieve. Try to take gentle care of yourself right now, pray often, cry when you need to and get up and out when you need/want to. Please return to this site when you are ready and share more details if/when comfortable. This group has been a Godsend to me - for receiving and giving support to others who have lost their spouses (my husband died just over 1 year ago- I'm doing better but truthfully some days are more challenging than others.). Although today is one of my "low" days, I am still encouraged by reading some of the other hopeful posts on this site and having the opportunity to comfort people like you. God Bless You!

Hi Mari, I'm so sorry for your loss. This is absolutely one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do in your life. The best advice I can give you is the one word I often use and that's just time...it just takes time. I know you might be thinking, I have given it time....it's been six months, but everyone's different and everyone heals (if possible) and moves forward at a different pace.

Just keep going through the motions of the day, through your regular routines, and try to stay as social as you can, which may only be going to the grocery store. Another thing that has always helped me is to get up, get dressed and get moving no matter how hard it is even it's only for a little while. If you start to isolate yourself from society that's when you can get into real trouble. Being alone is OK for a little while but when it's too long it's very hard on you mentally and physically. Fresh air and sunshine do wonders for a body even if you don't realize it at the time. That concept has helped me tremendously.

Also, a lot of times we wonder where everyone went after the funeral service...and why they don't call us anymore. I was in that frame of mind at first and then I thought well...the phone works both ways! Now I call and I give the person the option...do you want to do this with me and if you don't that's fine, I'm good either way but just throwing it out there. If they join me great and if they don't I just find something else to do or call someone else. Sometimes I even end up going by myself. As time has gone on, I have learned to do that as well. Not always fun but also not the end of the world.

Please feel free to talk about anything that you need to here. Someone has been down that road and will certainly reach out to help you.

Big hugs coming your way with wishes for strength and courage. Believe in yourself and the power that you have within you! Love is eternal and will always be in your heart. You will be okay....just keep swimming!

Darcie

I am so very sorry about your loss. After almost 11months, I can tell you it does change. You may find yourself getting through a day without breaking down. Then you may have a few ok days in a row. It continually changes , sometimes back and forth. But somehow you do go on. Some days you need people around, others you are better alone. I know it's so very hard to feel like you can go on, I still have bad days and sometimes bad weeks , but I know now I can go on. Not easily, but I guess this is our life for now. One day at a time. Missing them every moment but finding a new way. I wish you peace on your journey

I also lost my husband in June of this year , I'm so lost and broken also . Very hard thing to go through

Thank you so much for your support and comforting thoughts it truly help me . I don't feel like I am not alone any more some else understand i don't know anyone in my situation I am only 40 and I had been with my husband for 20 years we got married right out of high school we were highschool sweethearts I don't know how to live my life without him and truly sometimes I don't even want too. But I keep going for my kids. The pain is so intense I have never lost anyone so close to me why did he have to be my first ?

Hey Mari,
You can only take it one day at a time. Believe me one year ago I asked the same question every minute of the day. Actually I did not want to go on. So I decided to act as though tomorrow did not exist. I only focused upon the day I was in. Being a man of faith I prayed every minute of everyday. I went thru the motions going back to work. I just took my time. Listened to very little advice from those who had not a clue what I was going thru. Clichés are useless and I didn't have time for them. So I never reached out that much. I found the DS site and just read at first then posted my story and went from there. The only thing that helps to add to my faith was to interact with others who was dealing with the same loss. Only someone who has gone thru this can really completely understand what it's like. I never knew what this was like until finding myself working thru it. But be patient with yourself. Give yourself all the time you need. Do not let others tell you it's time to get going on. Or you really need to think about letting go. Ignore all that. In reality it's others who want you to be over it to alleviate their uncomfortable feelings with it. At six months you are still very early on in this. Don't even worry about the future right now. Your still in the stage of taking it one day at a time. One step at a time. Don't rush. If you are a lady of faith stay in prayer, it will see you thru.
Just take care of you.
Peace, Tim

I'm so sorry for your loss. Staying busy helps. You need to allow yourself to grieve also. With me it still comes in waves but is getting a little different then it was at first. It's been 17 months- Still have moments that I fall apart. Most days are better than at first. Praying everyday to God for the strength to get through this has made me to be stronger.

I lost my husband July 28, 2016. We were only married for 18 months. I thought I was the only person that felt so lost with no since of direction. I get up everyday and think of a reason to live. It's hard and I don't have an answer for you, but I try to think about all the good times we shared. Life is hard living, but it's all we got.