My heart aches for you because I know the feeling well. Try to find a good grief support group. The first one may not be right....try another. Just take one moment, one hour at a time. It does get a bit easier with time but it truly is a roller coaster ride that none of us wanted to be on. Come here often at all hours of the day or night. People here are wonderful! Hugs to you from AZ. Darlene

I'm sorry for your loss...I lost my husband only 13 weeks ago myself, and I'm still trying to find an answer to that question, 'how do I go on'..It's unfair, it's cruel...
I wish you the best and hope that things get better for you, for all of us. Take care, wendi

Like you, I am also only 45...and can't imagine the rest of my life without him...for what it's worth, you are not alone in this nightmare.

That's exactly it wonderdawn, what wendi said, you are not alone, everyone here gets it.

It seems small now perhaps but just knowing that you are understood and supported by all the other heartbroken souls here can be a tremendous comfort. All the things you fear, regret, hate, long for, we do too. Any emotion you feel will be understood and shared by someone here.
Somethings that helped me were writing to my husband, crying myself to sleep, watching every episode of Drop Dead Diva, coming here and reading every message.
I still don't accomplish things I would like to and it's ok. Grief is exhausting. Just do what you are able and delegate if you can. People who want to help will appreciate a concrete assignment I bet.

Others farther along in their journey will give you hope and inspiration.

I am so sorry for your loss and all the pain you are in. Drink lots of water and be kind to yourself. Take good care. ((())) Sue

Wonderdawn,
I am so sorry for your loss. Your pain is so new and raw. What you are feeling is so "normal". You must let yourself feel all of the emotions and grieve at your own pace. Take one day at a time and accomplish what you can. Don't be upset with yourself if you cannot do anything.
I am at the 2 year mark this month. It does get better with time. It still hurts, but you handle it better.
Keep coming here for support and you will find that you are not alone in what you are feeling. Hugs and prayers to you. Mary

I want to thank everyone for your support, knowing that I am not alone with my pain is a sense of comfort. I had to call and cancel his phone yesterday, just knowing that it is another reminder that he is gone hit me hard. I so want to keep everything the way it was, but financially, I have to make a lot of budget cuts. Just to know the next step of how I can go on is not coming to me.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's heartbreaking to lose our spouse. At three weeks you're still in shock. It takes time, so much time.

We're here for you. You're not alone. The people here are very kind and supportive. We know what you're feeling, and we'll try our best to help.

Hugs,
Janie

Dawn, I am so sorry for your loss, but happy you found us...wonderful people here.

The next step? I don't know, it will happen as it happens. We do not know what tomorrow will bring or where we will be emotionally.

This new life is what it is.....painful, lonely and all the other adjectives that apply. It is a roller coaster to be sure. I have hours that the pain almost swallows me whole, and others I can almost cope.
Just try to take each day and challenge as it comes.

Hugs
Jen

The pain of this loss can be overwhelming, I know. I'm at the 26 month mark.

I don't cry as often and when I do, I can recover much quicker. I am still having a difficult time concentrating so reading doesn't work for me. I find a mindless movie on TV [one without commercials] and I get lost in it.

I continue to work [thank God I didn't retire with him]. My job keeps me going and my dog [who's as demanding as ever!] Keeps me very busy too!

Our lives will NEVER be the same......the loss of our mates is so daunting at times.......It paralyzes me!

Does it make me feel better to know that I'm not alone.......most times.....then there's the time that it doesn't matter.....I feel like I'm the only one in the entire world who's ever felt this way!!!

I wish there was a magic button I could push and go back 10 years!

Warmly,
Roz

I'm so sorry for your loss. We all understand. I know that when my wonderful husband passed away in October, 2014, I couldn't even articulate the words to say what had happened. This forum, which I found in December, 2014, helped me every day by letting me see that I was not alone and that I could begin to put into words what I was feeling and thinking. I remember one particular day in January, 2015, when I simply wrote: "I'm overwhelmed." And the responses I immediately got from this group made all the difference in the world to me that day. Try to ask for help from friends and family with some of the errands, chores, and sorting you might be doing. Also, try to give yourself a real pat on the back every time you get anything accomplished. In hindsight, I remember feeling very weak and very much like I was walking through molasses, so heavy and slow. So take your time, join a grief group where you can express your feelings and be assured that you are normal, and remember to be very very kind to yourself.

I just turned 46. It seems heartwrenching to think of the next 30 years without my soulmate. My daughters are the reason I go on. Breaks my heart that they have to grow up without a daddy. Good luck. I am spending a lot of time with family and friends and who knows what my future will bring.

Hi Dawn. My heart aches for you. I'm sorry for your loss. I am at two months and I am just now starting to try to envision a future without total loneliness and despair.

for me the first 3 or 4 months was my hardest and it has gotten better I cryed so much ,got depressed,couldnt sleep ,it is still hard to go to grave sight and I talk to her every night .finally I had to get help just got to much for me got this web sight that someone told me about called second first been reading a lot when ever I can on grieving.this is the hardest thing that any body in there life can go thru and just never thought it would be like this ,and still I tell myself why me .

I 'm almost eight weeks, it will get better. The third was my worst. I think that was the time that the numbness started to wear off and I faced the fact that he was gone. I spent most of that week crying in my bed. But, I made it through with the support of love ones. I still cry everyday, a few times. But, it is getting better I'm starting to remember the good memories and our love. And I know he would want me to live a happy life. Hugs, Jo