Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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How can this possibly get worse?

gailarmstrong
gailarmstrong
Yesterday was definitely the worst day I have had since Mike died sixteen months ago. I seriously thought I was having a heart attack and was nearly calling an ambulance. That anxiety attack lasted for two hours and I just wanted God to take me right then. I couldn't breathe and my brain felt like it was going to explode, I couldn't stand because I would have passed out. No triggers, just hit me from nowhere. I'm absolutely terrified now that this will happen again. Went to the doctors today and apparently this is perfectly normal in "my situation" Well I don't want this to be my situation anymore. This situation is absolutely ridiculous. I'm scared of being alone when this shit happens.
KimKos
KimKos
Gail Im so sorry for the attack... I have only had 2 in my life..one in public and one at home and its horrible. Both actually happened in the past 7 months As I look at them now there was something deeply troubling me at the time that I didn't understand. And I was fighting myself in a way. Since my mind refused to listen my body took over. I cant say I will never have them again but I find now when something is really really eating at me I need to acknowledge it or at least try to.!!! Sending hugs!!
lreyn330
lreyn330
I'm sorry for your loss and what your going through. I am in the same position. Night before last I almost call the ambulance for myself because I was going through the exact same thing you described. My husband has been gone 8 month. I don't know how I am ever going to go on without him. I am trying but it sure isn't easy. I wish you well. (((Hugs))) to you. Keep trying that's all we can do. Linda
Silee
Silee
Hi Gail, I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough time. If it happens again just ensure you get more than one medical opinion. I agree that having someone around is helpful and reassuring..
Hugs
loveddogs
loveddogs
Gail, Iam so sorry you are going through this. I too have had panic attacks. Shortly after my husband passed my daughter recommended I get a prescription for xanax. I didn't think I would need it, but boy was I wrong. I keep it with me just in case. Do I like taking drugs, no, but with my past and present depression, I know that whatever it takes to help me is what I will do. And I do feel like this is a temporary situation, I just wish grieving were. But how can we love someone so deeply without going through the agony of their loss. Hugs to you, Michele
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Gail, could you be more normal? Isn't it awful?

It's such a darn scary feeling; the head exploding, the heart beating out of our chest and there's nowhere to run to!!!!

I have to go outside so I can breathe.....I find myself jumping out of bed and heading for the back door to take in a deep, deep breath.

The meds have such an adverse reaction in my body that it takes me weeks to get over them!!!! I'm fighting to pull myself out of these feelings. Sometimes it's easier than other times!

My doctor suggested not staying in bed and tossing and turning. She said get up, move around, go outside, watch T.V., read a book, write in a journal. Get my mind on something else. You know what? It works.....that mind diverting thing! Not right away but it does work!

You're situation is so real and shared by so many. That feeling of being the "only one" and being "alone" is just too scary and frightening. Please believe me when I say.....YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! Just think of a tall blonde with big teary green eyes standing right beside you and sharing in your terror!

I wish you well,
Roz