I'm sure it is so hard for you. It was for me also. But you have to keep busy, that is the only thing I can do and you try also. Even if I just go to the store, anything to keep moving. Hang in there Benie

I do not know why this had to happen. I do know that it stinks. We are never going to be the same. I wish that I could turn back time and make everything okay. I can give you a big hug and tell you that I do understand and I feel your pain. I am so sorry, and I know my hug does not make it better, but hopefully it will make you at least feel a little bit better for a moment. Hang in there. Hugs. Shawn

it happened because it happened and im also mad..........but people say one door closes another opens....ye im not so much of a comfort-but you know i just hope you are k............because thats what i tell myself all the time now...and yes im still angry ---oh shit very angry....and i know it'll be k cause my wife...( or i think) creeps me out at night...i do ignore it though...like doors opening and closing( so i dont even set alarm anymore) and lights coming on then off, loud bangs in the middle of the night etc..............thumps in the master bedroom...she's mad and i know i am too...but i abide my time ( and told her) for now till the army closes out everything. please hang in there cause im trying...........take care.

Marie - I feel just like you do,existing or surviving, but not much more. My husband retired early & I planned to retire next year so we could grow old together also. Eight months after his diagnosis, he was taken from me (he has been gone 5 mos). This certainly put a damper put on those plans. Now I see our friends who have retired, enjoying life & doing the things we had planned to do. They say everything happens for a reason & we should not question it. That is easier said than done!! Marie, I am sure there is hope for you - I think we have a long road ahead of us. It cannot get any worse so we have to look forward to the days when it starts to get easier and we can put these heart wrenching days behind us. We must take baby steps - Many of us will be walking the same path with you & also taking baby steps to get there. You are in my thoughts. CHERI

The days of existing and the days of living are closely related sometimes. What I mean is we still come home, alone. That's one of the things that I find hardest even when I've enjoyed my day. We just have to keep going and being open to the beauty around us. Sharon

Yes, there is hope for you. We have all walked the same road and many are still walking it - just moving forward one day at a time and wondering what it all means. I approach life from a religious standpoint, so I feel if I am still here while he is gone, then God must have a purpose for me - some mission to fulfill. It would be helpful if God would let me know what that is.....You are not alone; we will all survive with each other's help. laurabp

I'm a guy and it's been three months for me. These posts bring tears.

I know your heartbreak and pain, my friend. This is a living hell you are going through. But the will to survive is strong and even in grief we have choices. Make tiny little choices every day to take a step forward. One day you will look back and see how far you have come.

You and I and all our friends here on DS will bear the scars of grief for the remainder of our lives, but the pain DOES diminish with time. And if you can find the inner strength to begin to dream again, you will find there is hope and a new future for you.

Hang in there and reach out to all of us for love, support, and encouragement. I'm praying for you.

Tami

I've made it past one year...one step, one day at a time. Yes, it's hard, our old life is gone. But hang in there, don't be too hard on yourself ... I'm living proof that life does get better...different, but better. I can now see my late wife would not want me grieving, but to be happy for the time we had together. Just know it DOES get better.

Hi Marie,
I feel the same way you do. I don't know how to find even a small bit of hope for the future. I keep trying different things to see if it brings any joy, but right now nothing does, hopefully one day there will be something that actually will make us happy again.

Wishing you peace and comfort.

Marie: I have just made it past the 8 month mark and I can tell you that for me it is so much better that 6 months past the death date is. That is just me and my timetable for mourning. Believe in yourself and your inner strengh and one day soon you will see the sunshine and feel it on your face. In that magic moment, things will begin to turn around. Slowly but surely you will find peace and a need to go on with your life. Take care and as the old saying goes..one small step at a time. You have us here at DS to share whatever you are feeling. Whatever that is...one of us has been there. xxoo

Marie,

There IS hope for you. You have to crawl through all the ugliness of loss and adjustment to get to the other end of the highway of hope, but you WILL get there. Those of us who have been on this journey a bit longer can declare this as true. However, there was a time when most of us uttered that same wordWHY!

The "Why" question will never be answered this side of heaven. Questions of that nature are far beyond our ability to know. Why? Because! If we try to determine the reason for the untimely death of our loved ones, we will be in an eternal struggle with who is in control. I'm grateful it's not me. Why? Because!

May you discover the peace that passes all understanding and are able to heal. If we dwell on all the unanswered questions of our loss, it eventually will detain us from seeing a healthy, promising future.

Blessings to you as you strive to be a survivor. TJ

Marie,
I keep wondering why my husband had to die also. He survived open heart surgery 3 years ago only to die from cancer after being diagnosed in June. It is most difficult for me on the weekends when my time is unstructured and I am left with my loneliness and longing for my husband's wonderful sense of humor.
I guess what I am trying to say is that you need to keep busy with friends, family, work or volunteering. These things have helped me.
Hang in there - Liz

There is hope. There has to be. I just hang onto that and take things on step at a time. If I can take one step surely I can take two. In awhile I will be able to walk around the block.

Why? That is the unanswerable question, at least in this lifetime.

May God hold you in his arms and bring you comfort and peace.

When your eyes are full of tears and your heart is broken hope is hard to find. For today just pamper yourself. Cry if you need to and lay on the couch if you want. Let the emotions come out and then start all over again. Hope is down the road a way, now there's pain and a lot of sorrow to work through. The hope will come, I promise. If you need me I'm here. Sharon