Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Horses are gone

silverfoxwife
silverfoxwife
This morning my farrier, his wife and his friend came to take my husband's 3 horses to relocate them to their new home. I am glad that all three could be together. This morning I put the halters on the two geldings but the mare would not let me get close to her. They brought a big 4 horse trailer which is too big to go into our drive way so we had to walk the horses out to the street to load them in. The lead horse was the most trusting one would not go in. It made me very nervous. They switch the mare to go in first and she did it, then the rest followed into the trailer. What a relief it is for me. I have been worried that the horses would not go into the trailer and had been asking my husband to help keep them calm because I an not a horse person. I think he was here to help the mare to get into the trailer without a fight. At the beginning I wish they were gone so I don't have to clean and feed and haul hay at my age. Now I feel the lost and sadness they are gone and a chapter of my husband's life is closing.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I so feel what you are going through. It is so hard you first loose your loved one and than you have all the other little losses you have to walk through like sorting through their things keeping some and letting other go. I am just sending you a hug to help with the sadness. I think you were very brave.
obtain
obtain
I also just had to give up my husbands horses. He died 2 months ago. He had four. Two went together and the other two separately. I was running out of hay. Te feed bill was high. Part of me was relieved and part was upset but that seems to be my life right now. I know what you mean about a chapter closing. My best to you. Brenda
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
You did what was necessary and it was done out of love. I'm sure they will be well care for and you can focus on taking care of you. Right now the priority has to be caring and getting through the days ahead. Remember, we are here for you and visit with us often. Sharon
deleted_user
deleted_user
A widow friend of mine had to do the same thing and eventually sold her ranch as it was entirely too much for her to do...never mind her age (67) because she is just as fit (if not more so) as I am. It's been a side order of grief since she loved her horses dearly on an individual basis. She has an amazing spirit and has sought and found new activities to engage in. She is an inspiration to all the widows/widowers in our group and I simply adore her and want to be around her as much as I can.
KittyKai
KittyKai
How interesting! I know your husband was there to help you! Awhile back I was making a trip to spend a weekend with friends and I took a wrong turn and got lost. My gas tank was almost empty! I finally came across one of those co-op gas stations out in the middle of nowhere and there was a young couple there getting gas that helped me. I was astounded when I found out that this young couple knew sign language! So I knew that Joe, my husband was watching out for me. (I am totally deaf).
silverfoxwife
silverfoxwife
Thank you for all your supportive comments.

Kittykai, it is so nice to hear that your husband and the young couple were there to watch out for you too.

Obtain, I know how upset it is to give up the horses. They are a part of our lives. It is a difficult choice we both faced, but it is the right one as Sharon said is done with love.

Flwgrl, I am glad your friend had found other interests after giving up her horses she loved so much. I have to give them up because the hay weights more than me. Stacking hay will eventually worsen my existing carpal tunnel syndrome.