Are you saying your husband died without a will and that now you are trying to figure out what to do with your will? It's a bit unclear what you're trying to do.

If you are contemplating liquidating assets in order to give them money, I would say do not do that.

If you are trying to determine how to word your own will and do you own estate planning, for that you definitely should see a lawyer to help you. Simple wills do not cost much.

No one here can give you specific legal advice. Only a lawyer can do that. If I knew a bit more about your situation, I could give you a personal opinion and feedback from my own experiences over the years.

Everyone should have a will, and your will should be updated whenever there is a major life change. It is good practice to review it every few years. I am in the process of redoing mine for the 4th time, 3rd time since my husband died, and second since I remarried a widower. We both had children with our previous (deceased) spouses.

A lot of people hate going to lawyers, but when there has been more than one marriage and children from more than one, it is especially important that you understand what your rights are and what claims they can make.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Hi Martha and thank you for your input. Yes, my husband did pass without a will, so I do need to get all of these things in order. As much as I want to be fair and equal to all of his kids, my concern is being leary of the two that are not responsible with finances, as beneficiaries, or if they would receive any money at this time; so I am not looking for any specific legal advice, but maybe personal opinions and advice in this area, if anyone has encountered this, also, would you happen to know if all of this can be taken care of by a financial advisor rather than a lawyer? I kind of doubt it, but thought I'd ask.

I hope this clarifies my question a little bit..

Lamb1,
You might want to consider a Living Trust, which would require an attorney. My situation is not the same as yours, but my two kids are terrible with money. So the Living Trust keeps all of your assets together, with the surviving Trustee or Trustees (whoever you can trust) following your instructions. In other words, you can limit what money kids get to a certain amount per year or limit the money to certain purposes or whatever you want. Having a living trust also eliminates the need for probate. It also limits what your kids spouses receive in the case of a divorce. If you give a single large amount to one of your kids and then they divorce their spouse, the spouse gets half of your inheritance. A living trust only exposes the amount paid to your kid in a divorce. The spouse has no rights to anything that is still in the trust. Also, what is in the trust cannot be accessed in a law suit.


Most estate lawyers have a seminar where you can learn about living trusts for free. Just a thought. Good luck.

Okay, first off, you need to understand that what was your husband's is now YOURS. You are under no obligation to give anyone anything at this time. You need to protect your income and assets to provide for your retirement and possible eventual care. That can amount to quite a bit. The kids you refer to as being very responsible will understand that. You are a one-person team now with no backup. They still have their partners, jobs, etc. The person with the greatest needs is YOU, not them.

Lon's idea of a trust is one of the ways of assuring no one gets too much too soon, and it would provide for yourself during your lifetime. A trust or a will require a lawyer to be done properly. If there is enough money that you are thinking of spreading it around, the first thing you need to spend it on is getting proper advice and counsel, and that means a lawyer.

Financial advisors are great at various stages of your life, but they cannot do what a lawyer can. And each of the ones I have dealt with took a commission or fee that matched what I spent on lawyers at other times. They are not going to save you money in this instance, and, frankly, you are going to need a properly done will to make sure that when you die that the kids from the various marriages don't wind up in court fighting over what's left.

In the US, the local bar associations run referral services to help people find one if they don't have one. Many bar associations also provide reduced fee or no fee services to senior citizens, and the vast majority will give you one hour of advice for either fee or low fee. You can find your local bar association by googling online "bar association+[your location]". If you're in a small town, it will likely be in the nearest city or where the courts are located. They are also in the phone book.

Some senior centers and government senior helplines may also be able to help you find the contact information for your locale.

My advice would be to have a lawyer do a new will for you, advise you regarding trusts, and help you uderstand some of the questions Lon raised (sometimes called "bloodline trusts"). After that, if you are concerned about how your money will continue to grow and provide for you and the eventual heirs, then by all means talk with a financial advisor to help you tailor whatever is included in your estate planning.

I have both a lawyer and a financial advisor. I am remarried, to a widower, and our planning is not straightforward as we have children from our prior marriages. I'm no dummy when it comes to money or the law, but sometimes you do need an expert to get it right. This is one of those times. If you want to save the people you and your late husband cared about from the agony and expense of fighting it out later in court, that's my advice.

Hope it helps. I know this can be so overwhelming at times. Hang in there.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

The above advice is for members in the US. I'm an ex-pat American living in the UK (dual citizenship), and it's a little different here. If you are living in England, you can contact the Citizens Advice Bureau to answer some questions and to help you find a solicitor in your area that handles wills. Here is a link to what the CAB says about wills (in England):

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/wills/

Note that there are additional protections that a will provides under UK law, including a reduction in inheritance tax and a protection for unmarried partners.

The other considerations noted above would apply here in the UK, too, but the process is slightly different.

Hope this helps my Brit friends....

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Great detailed advice! Thank you so much Lon and Martha; much appreciation. And yes I am in the US

One other question....for now anyway! I am in need of consulting a financial advisor also, so in my mind it seems like it would make sense to do that first, so all of that is in order, and then to the lawyer to have the trust/will drawn up.. any thoughts regarding that? Thanks

You should try to find an "independent financial advisor," as some are actually brokers for specific companies or investment funds. You might find this Forbes article about Suze Orman's advice on finding a financial advisor helpful:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/feeonlyplanner/2013/01/25/suze-ormans-take-on-financial-planners/

Hope this helps....

I have also come across another helpful site for members in the UK for how to access free legal advice, or find low fee advice. It is from a website sponsored by the Law Society (UK version of bar association):

https://www.lawworks.org.uk/legal-advice-individuals

Love amd Hugs,
Martha

Lamb1,
The Financial Advisor and Lawyer handle two different things. The Financial Advisor would help you manage your investments and could model to see if your money will last as long as you do. The Lawyer would help setup where your assets will go once you leave this earth. I am not sure which one would be best to see first though. Having a will or trust is only important if you die. But at that point, it is very important to your heirs. I would work on both of them at the same time. There are dead times with both, so the time commitment would not be solid.


Not sure I helped much.