I pushed you away when you first came near, I never wanted to get involved but you showed kindness, a quiet side that never angered, you stood by me and when I was sick you came and took care of me and my son... When I said I would try your family said that was all you wanted and you became my lover, my best friend, my rock, and most of all my soulmate...

We went through tough times but always smiled and held each other close together we could do anything, everyone said I was the strong one but honey you were... You pushed me when I was afraid and you stood by me when I thought I couldn't go on... And then it was my turn and for five years we pushed forward and finally you were to get better and you came home then you were gone... You weren't suppose to go... We finally made it... And now I sit here alone, I miss you so on the 19th you will be gone a year, yes I am doing better, I am driving, I am eating, lol I have lost 40 pounds... but you aren't here, I made you a heart garden and neighbors here have been great just like you said when I brought you home... We all know that you knew and I think that is what hurts most, the doctors didn't know and you looked fine... That is what hurts the most you made sure everything was done in those last days smiling when I knew you were still in pain and healing...

I don't know how to go on without you...