Marie,

I know how you feel, my husband passed away July 29. Call a friend and cry on their shoulder and see if they will come to visit you. Talk to people, write to him in a journal. Just hang in there.

Keeping you in my prayers. Kathy

I'm so sorry for your loss. My husband passed away in April and being alone is a big adjustment. Even though it is easier for me now than it was, I am still not used to it. I'm not sure that you ever really do get used to it. You just reach a point where you have no choice but to accept it. Have you tried a grief counselor or anything?

Marie, I am sorry you are having such a hard time right now. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. Writing "letters" to my husband has helped me; I tell him things I would if he were still here, about my day, and how much I love him and miss him. Also reading fiction books, watching funny movies, etc. helps distract me and lets me focus on something other than the pain. At 2 months you are still in the early stages of grieving. We have all been there. It does really get better with time. I hope you will feel just a little bit better today. laurabp

Oh Marie - I can feel your pain. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My husband Jim died very suddenly on Sept 9th. I just went to the grocery store and had to leave because I think I was having a little panic attack. These hours right after work and before bedtime are so very hard for me - this is when he should be coming through the door and we'd be talking about our day. I think Laura's idea to write to your husband is a good one - I think I am going to try that myself. I hope you have some good friends that can be there to cry with - it doesn't take away the pain - but it helps me to feel less isolated. We are on a journey that no one should ever have to make - and yet here we are. I'm not sure how to take this trip - and I'm struggling every single moment - I can tell that you are too. Please feel free to email me anytime. I can't offer any advice because I'm too new to this pain, but I can listen and send you hugs.
Stephanie

Almost, and I do say Almost Unbearable to deal with the death. I know that it seems impossible/surreal as if you are living your worst nightmare. The loneliness for him is torture, and you will find that at these beginning stages it is just going to get worse. You must keep yourself sane and tell yourself "I can do this", little by little and you will. If not already you will find that you have to learn to live a new life, a life you did not expect or even imagine. Let time take care of you, and then you will find that you are making. Let yourself grieve, cry and cry. Just let it out. I am not saying that time will heal it all, because it won't but at least you will find comfort in the fact that you are strong enough to make it through this.
Lean on us to help you through it. Read and relate and you will find that comfort lies in the stories of others. You will find that you really are not alone, we are here. Know that you will pull through this.
One day, you will remember and smile and thank your stars that you had those years with him. I have been without my booglie bear for a year now (impossible to believe, even for me). These days I only cry at night or when I am alone when before I was sad all day. Will it get better for me? Well, don't know yet, but I do look forward to what is ahead.
Stay strong sister!

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a husband, lover, soulmate, friend all in one person is the worst thing that can happen. The fact that it did happen is an unbelievable thought. I so wanted to wake up from this nightmare and find my Don sitting at the kitchen table or on the couch watching television. I know it is painful and very frightening, We on DS have or are living it too. That's why we understand and can support you as you 'walk in the shadow of death' of your husband. Be kind and gentle with yourself and do what feels right at the time. There are no rules in grief, except maybe, to get up when you fall down. Big hug for you. Sharon

Marie, I know how you feel too. Everyone tells me that it gets better with time. I don't like living alone either, but for me it is either forge forward, or give up what we worked so hard for all these years.

I pray that things get better for all of us.

Marie, I definitely can relate to your grief. When I lost my husband 20 months ago I went through the same feelings you are having right now. It took me a long time to get accustomed to being alone. I had a security system put in, which helped ease my mind some. I still keep other firearm protection, just in case......I feel I live in a rough neighborhood in my area..... and it eases my mind knowing I have a backup. When my 2nd soul mate passed away in late August and I found him dead......those same feelings are back. I'm alone AGAIN!!! Giving up is not an option to me.......I enjoy life too much and I'm trying to get through each day ...one at a time. I can't wait for the health club, that I joined , to be finished, so I can go on a daily basis and releave some stress. I even bought a self propelled mower to cut my grass so I can get out and not be cooped up in the house. I sure there is a reason for all that is happening to me, but at "this" particular moment, I don't know what it is. Hang in there, you are not alone. I will keep you in my prayers......Regards, Jenny

Marie,
I understand where you are right now, going through this myself. It's been approx 18 months since I lost the love of my life and recently retired. No, it isn't supposed to be this way, as you said we are supposed to grow old together, but sometimes life doesn't play fair.
I don't know that you ever really "get over it" but you begin to remember the fun things, the special times, the goofy things you did together that made you laugh, or that goofy expression or saying that your loved one said or did that just made you fall down laughing. You also learn to be thankful that they came into your life and made life a wonderful thing and worthwhile.
It really does get better, Marie, hang in there. We are all pulling for each other.