My husband's birthday is coming soon and it's been in my thoughts as the day gets closer. Be kind to yourself and try to celebrate his life. I wrote him a letter the first years and yes, I cried. It's okay to do whatever you need to. Hugs to you and birthdays wishes to him. Sharon

Thank you Shrn... you know what else I have been thinking about... is eating out at restaurants.... God, in July I went & picked up a carry out and was able to see the booth we sat in the last time ... which was only like a month earlier..... I saw couples & families enjoying themselves & thought to myself... I used to be like that! I used to be happy...

I love all the planning you are putting into this special day. Still it will be very hard day. You made me laugh when you wrote that you might have to eat that cake. Hang in there and go with how you feel in the moment. Lori

Your birthday celebration sounds perfect. Yes you will cry but it's OK.You will have some happy thoughts too.
My husbands birthday is coming up soon too. He would begin to remind us at least a month ahead and like your husband make it last as long as possible. Those are the happy thoughts they would want us to remember.
Peace and hugs to you my friend
Deb

My husband's birthat was 2 weeks before he died, we made a toast with his favorite wine, Pinot Noir and than for dsesert had his favorite sweet dessert wine, late harvest zinfandel. We drank half a bottle of each and put the rest in a fridge to finish later. Then he went into coma and never woke up. Those bottles are still in a fridge and I have no courage to finish them. That day I made for him veal osso buco but he hardly ate any and I know why, he already had pneumonia he didnb;t know about that made his sugar go wy up (he was diabetic) and his heart stopped. I beat myself up that I didn't see that something was wrong that day, just thought he didn;t have appetite. Now I wish I was more in tune with everything, that I saw he was sick.. it doesn;lt let me sleep at night. He didn;t have any symptoms of pneumonia except he couldn;t eat much. So now his bithdays will always be a reminder to me of this feeling I have. The regret and the IFS, I will always beat myself up. Celebrate his bithday as if he was there, in spite of everything I will too... It is so tough, I cry every day.. it's been only a month and I still can;t believe he is gone, it is so unreal. Lets be strong and celebrate what was good. Hugs.

Oh my, I made some awful mistakes, crying and writing, it was suppsed to be birthday, I don;t know what I did, forgive me the typos.,

We had a tradition we started long ago - the birthday week. It started (as close as we could) a week before the actual birthday and every day would bring a gift. Stupid gifts, fun gifts, extremely cheap gifts :). But every day there was something to open, a card to read. It was so fun. Birthdays were so important to us because, well, it was just us. It was important to say to each other I'm so grateful for the day you came to the world. And of course on the actual day there was a real gift but most important was cake. Birthday cake :)

This year's for her I feel like I made it suck. A few years back I was out of work and we've been crawling our way back financially and this year for whatever reason everything was so crazy at work (work I'm glad to still have) and of course I didn't know what was coming. I did the week. I did the cake. But I just couldn't manage the big bang on the day. I promised to make it up to her. Of course I never did (birthday June, she passed July).

Mine was worse (although I don't give a rat's a**) since she passed exactly one week before my birthday.

OMG I just vented and I'm sorry. I do know what I will do next year - balloons to release and of course cake.

Freckles I wish you peace. And that you learn to like German Chocolate and buy it by the slice

LubaLuba please don't beat yourself up (and I hope I can listen to my own words). We are all going through the "what if" or "If only I...". There are way too many factors involved that we could never think about that would keep things the same.

Hugs.

Today is my husband's heavenly birthday. I am at peace today, but last night was extremely hard because of the anticipation. last year there were flowers, balloons, so many cards, and I took a picture of him and he had a wonderful smile. I don't know how he found the inner energy to smile when we both knew it would be his last birthday. Today I have a memorial candle going and that picture next to it. The other day at support group brought his favorite sweet to eat and share. Just a hard day, birthdays were always so special. Much peace.

Luba am an RN and did not notice pancreatic cancer w/mets. He came home w/cough and 6 days later died. Some illnesses are so well hidden until too late. In hindsight very subtle symptoms...yet still full of life and health? until the very end. Such a shock...still. I understand. Life was so hectic then too. Out of our hands/control. Let's be good to ourselves :) ALL of us. Glad you both enjoyed his last B-Day...just finish off that wine :) and have another good cry...which I still can't. Ugh..hurts so bad.