Hi Nener. Welcome to the group where nobody wants to be here. Not by choice for any of us, but seems a good place for healing. Of course everyone is different, but my guess is at 8 months you are in the thick of it. I'm at 26 months now, and so my past 2 years of grief and recovery are one of the few things I vividly remember. I'm not near where I was when I boarded this train. Seems my thinking, memory, and problem solving skills all took a direct hit. But my Grief got a new roommate (without my permission, I might add.) And so Depression joined the party within the first 2 or 3 months. Surprise. I just figured it was all part of my grief. Here, you will find good people with loving hearts who get whatever it is you are going through at the time. ~~~ Scottie

Work, home, cry, at eight months sounds about right to me.

My children and I are 3.5 years without mom and even though we are living and doing, the pain of moms absence is always there with us.

Cry when you need to, post as often as you need to.

My wife passed away on 6/15/17 and our 10 year anniversary would have been on 6/23. I know how you feel when you hear of others having a life time together then they loose a spouse. In all fairness I'm not sure one is easier than the other ones. But I have the thoughts of this would be easier if my kids were grown and so forth. I don't have any fixes, all I can say is I know you feel alone in your pain, but the people in this group all have that same pain in some shape of form. Somehow it does help to hurt together, I admire your strength to post on here.

I read your post & it causes me to pause. I do have something to be thankful for, our children were grown & graduated from college when my husband/their father died.
For me, my husband was 4 months from retiring, so this is retirement, ALONE.
For all of us we have our grief, our journey has changed.

Crying is a release...
Our normal is not what we experienced previously...
Challenges that stretch us
Adjusting to survive
Blessings
jdp

I am so sorry to hear this. And I understand being upset hearing about the longevity of other marriages. I finally found the love of my life, and dated for a few years before marriage. He passed away one month before our wedding anniversary. The most beautiful thing that happened out of all of this was that four days after he passed, a book arrived--a love book. He ordered it online, filling it with all the reasons he loved me, and planned to give it to me for our anniversary. November was a horrible month. Our birthdays and our anniversary, but I did have that book that made, and still makes me cry when I see it. It was the most beautiful thing anyone had done for me, and I was blessed to have it through this pain.

I can relate... crying while driving back home and returning to an empty house, sleepless nights... feelings of loneliness (even though you're not alone). As time goes by, we learn to navigate this unwanted journey, along with all these uninvited guests... Death, Grieve, Depression... Eventually we'll be able to make our own passenger list, seek our lighthouse and choose our harbors to weather our storms. There's no final destination in this journey. Navigate through your feelings, and don't be too hard on yourself. You will find your way. Be at peace.

Sorry for your loss!! Around 7-8 months is when the angry stage struck me. I got stuck in that stage and could not get out. It was blocking all my wonderful memories. It took me seeing a therapist (my daughters begged me to go) to learn how to redirect my angry. It doesn't make me miss him any less. But, now when I look at a picture of us I can cry happy tears.