Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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janni1234 03/22/2013

For three weeks in a row I didn't hear a human voice, live or on the phone from Friday night to Monday morning. After being with my hubby 24/7 from '03 to two months ago, this freaked me out. I finally started visiting churches. It doesn't feel like my motives are pure but it is making me feel better. Anyone have any better solutions? I don't expect responses from those of you who have families who love you - you only make me jealous! And, yes, I've been handling Mon-Fri just fine by going to exercise classes a the local "Y", yoga (where a friend's daughter is the teacher) and joining in with the Red Hatters when they have occasions.
It's almost 4pm Friday - tick tock, tick tock, .........

sandeestttn 03/22/2013

I hear ya.... noone bothers to contact me, unless they want something....I don't have an exercize class to go to, but Idid join a church, that used to visit myhusband every week.... Ihaven't seen anyone in 6 weeks now. I figure I have to do for myself now. I even went out to eat alone, so I wouldn't have to eat alone. I have decided that I am a DIY (do it yourself) project.....

Nicker07 03/22/2013

I think for me the hardest was everyone else was off work and doing things with their kids: sports etc.....and even if they were your grandkids it was awkward to be involvced trying to be cheery...

Hugs

janni1234 03/22/2013

Sorry, I just noticed my typo in the title of this discussion - Her IT comes again - whoops! I guess I'm over tired right now.

cadoggiemom 03/22/2013

Hi janni,
Visiting churches was a good thing to do, and don't worry about your motives not being "pure". You are doing what you need to do, and you are not hurting anyone. Another option might be looking into some sort of volunteering. Just the fact you'd be available on weekends when many people are not should make you a very attractive volunteer candidate. I didn't check where you live, but here in northern NJ there is a county volunteer bureau that lists all of the local non-profits that need help. All the best to you.

sandeestttn 03/22/2013

yahooo......my oldest son called me, said can you come pick me up at work?..... so I drive there and back.... 1 hour of driving..... soon as we get here, his wife pulls up and they leave.....to go out and eat.... saved them time......(want something)

nowjustme 03/22/2013

Hi Jan, I wondered where you went. How are you doing? I'm here when you need a friend.
Get out as much as you can, go take a walk on the beach and pick up some shells. You never know who you will run into or meet. Get the newspaper and look for any events you can find to go to.
Make a trip to the library, there are people there too, and flea markets & yard sales, people love to talk there.
Thinking of you,
JoAnn

Shrn 03/23/2013

I am sorry and I know the lonliness of not having the one we love with us. There is so much we can do to fill our day, but at times we only want the presence of the one we love. No activity will fill this void. For me, these were the times I sat and thought about the good times in life we shared. I cried for the loss, but appreciated the gifts in life I had been given.

Sometimes I felt inadequate in the early times because my heart ached and screamed, "I don't want to fill my days with anything"
It is okay to just be still. Sharon

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