Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I like to think of myself as a good person, a forgiving person as well. But when is it enough? The relationship I have with my father in law hasn't been an ideal one. I've put up with a lot and I've forgiven him more then he probably deserves. Back in Novemeber we had a bit of a falling out over some of my husbands stuff. I still haven't really gone through his stuff. I stopped talking to him because he kind of threatened me and because I really don't need all of that stress in my life. I didn't hear from him on my birthday or Christmas or Trents birthday. Last weekend I found some old pictures of Trent and I posted them to share. He thanked me for the photos and today out of the blue he texts me. I don't know what to do I don't want to keep reliving this where I forgive him we talk and then he demands to have Trents stuff or he says something that makes me regret it. I think Trent would want me to have a relationship with his dad but at the same time I don't think he would want me to if his dad is going to treat me poorly. I'm working on the new me and I won't stand to be used or walked on. Any thoughts? Allie
While you are still fresh with the backlashes from him I would not open a big dialogue with him. It could be on a need to know or need to inform basis politely and quickly not getting into a long conversation where he can open the door to attack. As time goes on than each time you can feel it out to see if he is trying to get back in to be critical.
Love and Hugs,
Martha
Hugs
You go girl!!
The conflict is over ownership of Trent's possessions? I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure that in a marriage, the possessions of both spouses are a "product of the marriage", and I believe it is called "community property". Like I said, a lawyer could answer this better than I can. But it seems to me that in the absence of one spouse, the possession of the marital property should automatically go to the other spouse. This would be in the absence of a will which might stipulate other arrangements. Otherwise, you probably should have first-dibs on everything. You should be able to consult with an attorney without breaking the bank. At least you will know which of you is right...in the eyes of the law, anyway.
Peace, Tim