I'd go for " find a way to celebrate the past love". Whatever is meaningful to you all. And yes, there will be tears.

I'm so very sorry you lost your love. I too lost my husband at about 30 years of marriage and my children were 24 and 27. His 60th birthday was 5 months later and we had family over for a dinner. I didn't want to ignore that day. It was good to be with others who loved and missed him but we did not sing happy birthday or have a cake. Just a loving, supportive gathering and dinner. Just stay accessible and open to your kids, I felt badly sometimes that my son, who lived with me witnessed my raw grief. But he has also witnessed my healing and sees that we can acknowledge our loss and still survive. Hold them close. You will need one another as others start to seem to drift away and not know what to do. Do reach out to them though, they may want to help but have NO idea how to do so. God Bless Marybeth

I'm so sorry . My thoughts would be to ask your daughters how they think their Mom's birthday should be celebrated. This way you all have suggestions and they would feel good about that. Remember, she is there in your hearts forever. May Peace be with you. Hugs, Dolores

First of all I’m so sorry for your loss. You were both so fortunate to have had each other for so many years and the beautiful love that you shared. I’m sure you see it in your three beautiful daughters.
The first birthday after my husband‘s passing, my daughter, her boyfriend and I celebrated quietly at Ira’s favorite restaurant. I also planted a red rosebush in his honor that has a lovely story behind it. Seeing that bush bloom and thrive in such beauty reminds me of the love that we had and that somehow a little piece him still lives on. I plan on moving in the near future into my new chapter two. I will leave that bush at “our home”. When settled though, my new love and I plan on planting two new rose bushes, this time yellow, at “our new home” to honor our past loves lives. Seeing those new rose bushes bloom will still keep them close to our hearts along with all of our memories and remind us of the love we both had for so many years with two very special people!
Whatever you decide to do will be fine. Yes there will be tears but also sprinkle in fond memories and smile because of those. “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened!”
Warm hugs and best wishes to you for strength and courage.
Darcie

Birthdays are surprising difficult. I'm with Dolores - talk with your daughters about what they think would be a good way of marking the day. It is not going to be an easy day for any of you. Inasmuch as it has only been 3 weeks for you all, I can't imagine any of you really being up for any big public event. You've barely had the funeral.

3 weeks after Cliff died, it was one our sons' birthdays. I was still in so much pain and shock that I couldn't manage anything, so some friends made dinner for us. My sons were so grateful for that. Cliff's birthday was about 9 months after his death, and on that day I was in the middle of natural disaster (serious tropical storm), so that distracted us, sort of.

My advice would be to maybe order in pizza with your girls, maybe look over old photos together, have a good cry, and raise a glass in your wife's honor.

Your girls may try to protect you from how deeply their are in pain as they won't want to add to yours. That's what my guys did, and it was counter-productive as it made it so much harder on them and didn't spare me anything. Anyway, we talked and talked and talked, and they learned it was okay to cry and miss their Dad. We grieved together.

I am sorry for the loss that brings you here, and I hope being here helps you. Welcome.

Love and Hugs,
Martha, co-Community Leader

Thank you all so much for your kind and wise thoughts. My wife and I were blessed with a great family and so many friends. She had over 1,000 people at her services. She had such a beautiful heart and touched so many in her short 50 years. I can feel her kindness and love in your words and advice. it seems strange to me that with so many close friends, I can only find this common ground with people that I had never met. Finding this site has been a real gift from God, as are all of you. Thank you for the strength, courage, and direction, and I hope that I can someday help others as you have helped me. - Ty

Sorry for your loss, and welcome. Can't help you with daughters as I have none. Somehow, I think hearing their plans though might be a good start.

So very sorry for your loss - sending hugs your way.