for me, i became physically ill in many different small ways particularly in the first 6 months...............and heaviness......aching.............i felt so deeply.....paralyzed some days. It can be very very exhausting and stressful and those things make you feel things you have never felt. It seemed through my husband's illness i most certainly did not focus on my own and my body just felt so different in months following.

I've been having more good days in a row, enevitably though a bad one will come and the heaviness you speak of feels debilitating.
The sadness is very overwhelming too.

It is grief & how it works ~
During grief, the body produces alot of cortisol~
It slow you down causing a feeling of heaviness, nausea, headache, fatigue, etc ~
Exercise or physical activity flushes it out ~
Do it if & when you can. I know how hard it is, for myself, I had days it was hell just to walk w/out staggering much less get out of bed ~
Whenever I was simply too overwhelmed &/or pumped up on adrenalin to fall asleep on my own, I'd put myself to sleep w/Tylenol PM or Excedrin PM ~
Sleep resets the brain ~
Sometimes, upon waking I'd still feel tired or in alot of pain, I'd go ahead & fall back asleep ~
All you need to do is take care of yourself the best you can & listen to what you body is telling you it needs ~
Take care ~

I have been pretty good until the past two days. Getting close to the 11 month mark on the 23rd. I have been doing all the right things to help myself. But it doesn't change the missing him.
Marilyn

I'm feeling heavy too, baby sitting my Mom's House and Dog for the week while she is in Vegas, and can't function. Only left the house twice this week, and don't want to get out of bed. On days I think I need to go get help, but then feel good about my progress, after I talk to a friend that said she didn't leave her home for a year.

Stupid grief attack! So, tonight, I'm alone at home. Thank goodness. I've got a movie and some beer. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I was doing so much better. Now, physical pain is back and lethargy. Movement requires effort. I'll be ok. I did meet with a guy today and I'm getting new bedroom carpet on the 15th. Woo hoo!

For some reason this week has been bad. Didn't want to get our of bed. I took some tylenol pm the last 2 nights just so I could sleep and not think.

I just keep waiting for something to change. I feel really lost, don't know who I'm suppose to be now.

mel.... whoooo........ met a guy?..... what?

.... for some reason, tears just keep running out of my eyes, on their own. my eyes are leaking.....

Hi,
I have heaviness that pit in your stomach every morning and at night every day since Scott died 10 weeks ago.

It is a horrible ache. it goes away for a while and that comes back with such force.

I long for a day where i can find a little peace. I want to enjoy me children and life again. little by little but it seems like an impossible task.
I pray for this for me and all of u all the time!

kathy

I have been struggling the last few days with such a heavy heart. I just miss my husband. I miss him so bad that it actually hurts. I had grief counseling last night and I think I was looking for a miracle but woke up this morning feeling just as sad. I have off from work today. I am suppose to be cleaning and preparing to have a bunch of 17 year old boys over for a picnic before they prepare for their Junior/Senior prom. My husband and I did this for our older son so I decided to carry on the tradition. It is just hard to do these things without him. I have to put on a happy face and get my "butt" in gear.

I noticed I dropped the ?? weeks, and go by how many months now. I htink that is a sign of healing. right?

In the early weeks, I sobbed so much I think I actually pulled a lot of the muscles in my chest and abdomen - I was physically exhausted, and felt physical pain and discomfort. Worse, my husband died of a heart attack, so I had fear that I would, too, when the pain and heaviness in my chest got bad. And the warning signs for a heart attack in women are not the same as in men. I was in bad shape. It felt physically like my heart had been ripped out. The other weird thing that happened was that I got so dehydrated from crying so much (who knew the human body could produce so many tears?) that I actually had muscle cramps caused by the dehydration - really wicked ones in my feet and legs, as if I had run a marathon or something. Horrible physical pain. That's why I always tell anybody new to this to remember to drink extra water.

The physcial pains did pass. Mel, if it doesn't ease up, please consult your doctor just to be on the safe side.

Chamomile tea can help you relax to get some sleep, or anything with Diphenhydramine will help if you are able to take antihistamines - that would include Benedryl and Tylenol PM - it's the same ingredient in both. I am sensitive to most meds, so I only needed a half dose of the Benedryl - which is what a child's dose is (25 mg as opposed to the adult dose of 50 mg). A snack of turkey meat can also help you sleep as it contains Tryptophan, which makes you sleepy (it's one of the reasons a lot of people nod off after a Thanksgiving supper).

I hope you feel better and can get some decent rest.

Love and Hugs,
Martha