I know this feeling all too well. Starting with the small stuff usually helps me find some momentum to keep rolling.

I've always been a procrastinator, but between death/grief/depression, I found new expanded parameters. Just do what HAS to get done when it has to be done. I know the energy it takes when you've just got to push through whatever blockage and get it done because there is no other choice. If it doesn't have to get done right now, it can wait so don't beat yourself up over it. I love the saying I learned here: This isn't about winning a race. This is about survival. Scott

Small steps can make it more doable. When cleaning out the closet I put a Cardboard box on the floor and if I happened to pull something out it would go into the box. Sometimes the box could take weeks to fill sometimes just days. Do it in your timing. Same for the taxes except I use a basket. Hon you do things when you can and if possible ask for help. Take care.

Me too Jamey. I have such a horrible long list of things to do...and more stuff keeps occurring to me. It is overwhelming and sad.

Maybe decide which things you can ask for help with and which things you may need to hire help for. I had the same problem at about the same time. I made up an all-encompassing "To Do List" - it was 13 pages long! And of course, I promptly lost the list (of course!). Things got done as I could handle it.

One thing I will tell you is that one of the best decisions I made was to hire a professional to do my taxes. I had my own, plus I was closing out two businesses, I had switched from married to widow to head of household, and I thought I was going to owe the IRS. The tax preparer took all the hassle and I got a refund that was three times the amount I thought I was going to owe, so she paid for her own fee! The professionals know about all the changes and deductions that aren't included in the booklets and forms. For me, it was worth it.

The clothing is always a problem. Can your son help you with that? Just a thought.

I am sorry for your loss, and I understand that even at this stage, some things are just overwhelming. I am glad you found our group - welcome.

Love and Hugs,
Martha, co-Community Leader

Thanks everyone! It is uplifting to get a response, and one that helps me remember that others go through this too. I might try that box thing.

Something else that I’ve learned is that now and then you have to go out on that limb sometimes and ask people for help. I know when the tragedy occurs people are there saying “anything you need just let me know.” Then, we as the window/ers often in our “fog” sit there and wait for them to call us when all along they're actually waiting for us to call them. So it doesn’t hurt to ask and reach out to people...friends as well as professionals. Many are more supportive than you realize in your time of grief.
You and I are almost on the same timeline and I often feel like you do as well. On top of that I can be, wink wink, a huge procrastinator at times! Take a breath and tackle one task at a time!
Warm hugs to you and wishes of strength and courage on your journey forward!
Darcie

How about just cleaning the kitchen or eliminating clutter?
I face the 3 year mark on the 28th of this month, along with many tough realizations. my journey doesn't seem to be going anywhere, and has piled up a whole new level of survival procrastination. I am a habitual procrastinator. It is way past the point of having a hard time getting started. Widows fog has reached the paranormal stage.
The only thing I have guaranteed is paying bills.
Does anybody else feel like they need a friend to help spark motivation? I don't have anyone coming home to witness whether or not I accomplished something. Nobody to converse with daily, about small or large things.
My husband was my companionship. I have a wonderful dog, who has kept me out of the looney bin. probably only because she can't report me to anyone ;-] and I do take care of her. so that's 2 things I accomplish.
Everyone in here is joking about this, but is anyone here truly worried about themselves? I am.
Love you guys.

I know how you feel! After a month of doing only what had to be done I cleaned out the fridge! I was amazed at how great it looked! I was exhausted, you would have thought I ran a marathon! It was a small step in the right direction.