Hi Sandcastle, welcome to our group...sorry you have to find yourself here, too. Though we're only virtual, you will find friends here, and some of the best kind, cuz we all know what you're going through.

I'm about a decade older than you, and never been much for making relationships with many people, but I too find it particularly hard now too. Or maybe it's just that the loneliness exacerbates the awareness of how difficult, how necessary, and how transient relationships are. I have always depended on guidance from a higher source to lead me into the truly meaningful relationships I've had (none more so than with my deceased partner, John), so I guess now I retain hope that, if there is to be the gift of friendly companionship, I will once again be guided there. But, fear can really cast some doubt that way and, like I said, the loneliness can be really offputting. There is also the fact that it's hard to put up with the same silly sh-- that you once may have...values undergo a shift as to what's important anymore.

nanne

It is hard when we lose our spouses who were our best friends and main social contact. Have you looked into any groups on meetup.com? It doesn't look like there is a widow group in your area, but you might find other groups that interest you.

At 48 when my husband passed, I can understand some of what you are feeling. It becomes extremely lonely which can lead to depression of sort. The key is to go out of your comfort zone and find group activities that allows you to interact and socialize on some level and then offer the possibility of friendship. At first I would join friends to do activities but always felt like the third wheel since my husband was no longer part of the equation. I had to figure out a way to do activities for myself to open up new doors. I am 51 now and yes it can be harder to find friends at our age but it is not impossible. Good luck

Ive only been a widow for about 9 months, but my husband and I moved a lot so I was often in a situation where I needed to make new friends. Through the years, I have found that it is good to just pursue things you are interested in and you will find people with like interests eventually. Since becoming a widow, I accept more invitations, even the not so great ones, because sometimes you meet people and doors open, but I have learned that it takes time to build good relationships. Hope this helps.

I was doing a search on Meetups at Brampton. You can find a list of meetup groups with this link.
http://www.meetup.com/cities/ca/on/brampton/

In no way I'm limiting you to a widow/widower group. But if this is of your interest, this caught my eye - you can do your own research.
http://www.meetup.com/Widowed-Friends-of-Halton/

Are you a Widow or Widower ?
Feeling alone in the world ? Wanting to make new friends ?
Ready to turn the corner and begin socializing again in a comfortable space?
Open to meeting other widowed persons to socialize & share experiences & support each other ?

If so, we'd love to have you join those of us who've lost our spouses and attend our Friendship Group.
We meet up for dinners at local restaurants, gather for weekend day trips and overall, socialize with a great group of people.

Our Friendship Group is not a grief support group. Rather, it's primary purpose is simply to provide a safe, social atmosphere for those of us who've lost our spouses, have made the decision to move forward, and want to connect with others who've also experienced the loss of a spouse.

Those who have attended so far, some have experienced the loss of a spouse as recently as 6 months ago to as long as 15+ years ago. Ages of attendees so far have ranged from the mid 30's to the early 80's.

We also have a FaceBook page called ' Widowed Friends of Halton. This is a closed group.

Our website/blog is www.widowedfriendsofhalton.com