That's right mel (short for melissa? we call my daughter mel). There was no preparation(not that I am saying it's any easier). But in an instant...I went to wake my sweetie up with a kiss and the realization that while I was kissing her she was gone. What a shock to the system. My life didn't just turn upside down but inside out and all directions. I wonder what? My life was instantly changed. Everything I lived for, everything wonderful thought about our future...gone...just like that. I really know what they mean when they say that while you are busy making plans god is up there laughing. I have to say this site does make a difference though. It helps a lot. There are some wonderful people out there and I thought while watching the news all the wonderful people left the planet.

I have moments when it's hard to believe that I also was a teenager and now I'm 75 years old; that I was married 50 years & 8 months (we were 19 & 23) and this past Dec. marked our 56th anniversary. It is hard to realize that the handsome young man I married aged gracefully into a handsome man with few gray hairs, and now has left this earth forever. Makes my head spin!

I am thankful that we had such a long time together, and that I was able to care for him during his illness. Those of you who have been widowed at a young age have my deepest sympathy. You are going to make it through -- it just takes lots of faith, courage and determination. Wishing you peace! Doye

The night before Cliff died, we had been discussing all of our plans - our youngest was a senior in high school, after graduation we were going to sell the house and move out of state. He and our older son had started a business together. I was closing one down to start other pursuits. And we were going to spend the next day, Veterans Day, a holiday, as a couple's day - romance time. So many plans, everything so close and almost within reach. And then he had a heart attck the next morning and died in my arms.

Hard to believe all those plans disappeared in moments.

If anyone had told me then what my life would be like now, I would never have believed it. I am remarried and happy, pursuing other dreams and plans now. I survived the unsurvivable, and so have my sons. We have a blended family, complete with doting step-grandparents. I still wonder if I will wake up someday to find it's all been some crazy dream.

That first terrible year, I remember telling my sister that I didn't know what to do - for the first time in my life I did not have a plan. She told me it was okay not to have a plan. Simple stuff, but I needed to hear that. Eventually, the pieces start to fall together, and plans were able to even be considered, but it took awhile.

Never give up. It will be worth it to hang on. That can be hard to believe at times, too. But it's true.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I agree with all of the posts. Sometimes, my life seems to have gone by in the proverbial blink of an eye. Like Doyew, I am older (72). We were married for almost 50 years. We met as teenagers, and my husband (who did wear glasses--LOL!) always said he still saw me as the thin blond in white shorts he saw in the tennis-handball courts of our neighborhood park. Well, I'm a far cry from that now, but, in many ways, to each other, we were still young. We still joked around, laughed at silly jokes, enjoyed each other's company. And, I guess, we "planned" to just be together forever. I miss him so much.
DorothyJoan

yes its hard to believe I had such plans for my life. I then, couldn't wait until I turned 16 to marry this guy. Which I spent my life with. My plans changed I loved being a housewife, mother. now, kids are all gone, he is gone, that 16 year old girl is gone. Water is gone....At 65, if I make any plans, they will have to be short term plans.

I was just thinking the other night how unfair it is that you make plans for your life and in the blink of an eye it can all be taken away from you. You know, I always thought as long as I had my husband and kids I would be fine. Just 3 people. I was only asking fate to allow me to keep three people. its not a big number to ask for. I hate that I didn't get to decide my own future...that it was decided for me.

I don't hate any of it and I'm not bitter. I just find it ironic to think of my life in the same terms as I did when I was a teen. Hmmmm.... I wonder what the future holds.....
My daughter is signing up to volunteer at a Children's Hospital. Using her experience to help others. :)
This is a good future...
PS my name is Melanie

I have come to realize how short life really is when you lose so much. It makes me feel old already.

You're the age I was when I met Will. So it's never too late. I still ask myself some of those questions - except the kids part (that IS too late hehe).

~ Tis not too late to seek a newer world - Tennyson

You are right our lives change in a minute. When I think about my husband last year at this time he active and loved life. We knew that he would have to have a liver transplant. That was something that was going to happen. We also knew that he would have to wait and in April be tested to put on the list. Our dreams was to start travelling, me retiring, looking after grandchildren and just living life again. I remember the day that the doctor told us that he had caught an infection while in the hospital. Because of the infection transplant testing had to be stopped. Then 5 weeks latter he died - he could not fight the infection. The day he died I felt that my world end.
Now at almost 6 months I can kind of see the light at the end of the tunnel. I journal to him every day. I have found friends in people that I would never have expected to there for me.
Some day I hope to have some type of companionship. Marriage not sure. I am so glad that I got to live and know a wonderful man that put me , my sons, grandson, and family first. Tomorrow would have been the 39 anniversary of our first date. It is hard to believe that he is not here.

Yes Mel I understand the hard to beleive sentiment. Through our different lives that we travel we learn and grow. We are not starting from scratch but building on the lives we have already built even though those lives have been changed dramatically. Wishing everyone only the best and a sense of peace in the rebuilding process. Gerald

Hi Mel!

Great post....it is interesting how you can be asking yourself the same questions now as you were in your teens. God knew when you were asking those questions back then that you would be asking them again now...and just as revealed the answers to those questions to in Mike and your children, He will reveal answers to you again in His time. I am glad you are doing so well.

Hugs to you my friend!

Great post , and I completely understand and feel much of the same...
This new normal we are having to create for ourselves while holding on to what we have with our loved one...

Mel, you been reading my mind again!!! Richard and I were married for 26 1/2 years. We dated for over a year. We had such wonderful plans. To go camping, enjoy our boys in high school and all our grand babies, spend time with our daughters. Now at the age of 52. I ask myself the same question "what does my future hold?" It is definitely weird!!!

Thanks for that post Mel. After all you've been through and still sharing your thankfulness and hopefulness for the future? It's really encouraging to read. So, bless you for sharing your heart here. I'm praying for you, friend.