janni I am so sorry.......i need to sell my dh chair, don't know how much to ask...new batteries just cost me $200...

Hi, I am sorry for you loss. The aloneness is hard. I know I have said it a million times, but a real life support group can do wonders. Most hospices have free support groups. Your loved one did not have to use their services. Many hospitals and even funeral homes run free grief support groups too. Members can get together after the meeting, or during the week to have dinner. It is a big help. Also, meetup.com is a web site where you can find a group that has different themes, like a book club, dinner club, really any type of hobby. Good luck, and I hope you start to feel better soon. Paula

I know how you feel, age my age, 64, can't make friends now. noone wants to hear about your loss. So sad. I was going to have yard sale, but no help.

So sorry for us all.....

I'm so sorry and I do understand the loneliness. You don't have to want a romantic relationship or a dating relationship to want companionship. Many of us feel that way. I'm 60 and although so many people have told me I'm not too old to date and have another relationship I just haven't felt inclined to go that route ---I'm not hungry for love, I've experienced love at it's best--had a long happy marriage--but I do find myself hungry for companionship--someone to talk to--someone to listen--someone to have dinner with or take a walk with--go to the movies with. The "aloneness" is difficult after having someone there for so many years--someone who completed you and who knew you better than anyone else. I can only imagine that having the yard sale and seeing so many things that you related to him leave your home was hard--and having the friends and neighbors go home afterwards and leave you there in the quiet house now empty of so many of his things--had to be hard as well. I hope you can reach out to a hospice group or a church group or some other group in order to meet other people to talk with and spend a few moments with--try not to isolate yourself --you need companionship in some form. My prayers are with you.
Wanda

I so know that feeling, but what it was for me was when my husband was still here. He wanted to have a yard sale. We got rid of so much *stuff*. That's how I look at it now and why he wanted to have the sale. The only thing I got rid of after he passed was the hospital bed and a few other things. I knew of someone who's father had alzheimer and needed it. So it went for a good cause. The loneliness is the toughest to endure. Its so hard to fill the void we have in our lives, especially when so much was shared and now its been taken. You might want to check out Widowed Village web site. Its has a lot to offer. I myself don't like group meetings, I've been to a few through hospice and not much more offered in this small town. So I just turn to the net for support.

I know how you feel Janni, after a certain length of time, friends and family just get on with their own lives and don't seem to bother with us anymore. They don't realize that we are still hurting deeply, this is not something that just "goes away". I have many days when I feel very alone and depressed, I either get myself busy on some sort of project or go out for awhile to keep my mind preoccupied.
I wish you well, take good care now,
Chris

I am with you janni. The aloneness is heavy. I'm learning to live with it because I have to not because I want to.
I haven't sold or given any of my wife's things away. But I know I have to.

Oh, boy, do I know how you feel. Four months isn't a very long distance of time to have really solid legs to begin with. What you did today was very difficult so I can't imagine not feeling a sense of emptiness or loneliness. I'm sorry; truly sorry you have to go through this. It wasn't supposed to be this way, was it?

It was my choice, and I don't mean to poke in where it isn't wanted nor asked for, but I eventually turned to a grief counselor and widow's group at our church. Did it help? I honestly don't know because I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't done it. But, like chicken soup, it didn't hurt.

Big hug!!!