Hi Ashleygaa
My husband passed nearly 17 weeks ago to cancer . We have 2 girls aged 6 & 3 and are very dependant on me. I have to wear a mask to hide everything and act as normal as I can and keep them in a routine. I hit rock bottom a few weeks ago and my built in emotions exploded and I couldn't stop crying for 3-4 days. As I can't take anti depressants I had to find another way by taking herbal methods instead. They are helping and the support from our girls and family have helped too. But this site is great. I thought I was alone as I've tried to find help groups but failed. Everyone here are going through different stages of the journey and can offer great advice.
Our girls, routine and this site keeps me going from one day to the next.
Sorry for your loss and gentle hugs x

I dont have small children but I would encourage you to do one thing. Give yourself private time to cry and cry. The tears are truly a healing part of the process and a huge stress release on the body. I am so sorry for your loss and encourage you to post here as often as you need. There is truly a diverse and compassionate group of people here. God bless.

My husband died three years ago to cancer. We have three daughters ages 12,7,5. They see me cry, and scream, they also see me laugh and be happy. It very healthy for your children to see your emotions, children are very resilient and very they will be very comforting to you. Children need to feel loved and safe and secure. Part of feeling love is showing your emotions and the reason you are crying is because you are grieving because you are human. Hiding your emotions will not be helpful.
You don't have to go through this alone. Its very healthy for children to feel emotions.

I also have lost my husband 4 months ago and I have an 11 month old. She really is my only source of strength and my main focus that just gets me through the day. I also do not have help. If you ever want to chat, share stories, I am here for you. When my daughter naps or goes to sleep at night, it's me time so I can concentrate on letting all my emotions go and just grieve. Between my great family and friends as a support system, self help books, and this cite all have gotten me through thus far. Stay strong

Thank you all for the advice and support, I really appreciate it!

I'm sorry for your loss and the loss for your children. My children were adults when my husband died and I attended hospice counseling group for widows and widowers. They also had group for children who lost their parent. Your 3rd grader would benefit from talking about what to do with his loss. I would advise contacting someone to advise help with all you're dealing with. I believe hiding your feelings are not good for any of you. Sharon