Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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NewRoadsForMe 09/12/2011

I can't help but notice that everyone is fine with everyone grieving now for 10 years for victims of 9/11. The grief will always be there. Tears will always be understood, probably even at 50 years. And that's OK.

That said, why do people think "regular" widows/widowers should be able to recover from their grief in a year? Why do people feel kindly toward 9/11 widows/widowers but not us? Just because a terrorist did not kill my husband, a monster did kill him and I grieve just as they do. Cancer is as hateful as terrorists. Just had to vent.

deleted_user 09/12/2011

You are so right! Cancer is just as hateful as a terrorist. I am just a little over one month shy of the 2 year mark and I am still grieving. I have many good days now but I am still grieving the loss of so much! I miss my husband everyday,all that we shared together and all that will never be.... As for what people think of my grief process, well in the beginning it got to me but no more. It was my relationship and I will grieve as long as I need to. This does not mean I will be crying all the rest of my life. It means I will miss and long for my husband the rest of my life. I wish you heartfelt peace.
Hugs,
Tess

cleodoggie 09/12/2011

Well actually I get mad at the Military for spraying Agent Orange over their soldiers. To me this was an act of terrorism. They knew it was toxic and still to this day will not admit it. My grief is as legitimite as anyone who lost someone on 9/11. The difference is that 9/11 came into our homes on the tv. Everyone knows what happened. I feel like no one cares about all of us and there are alot of Agent Orange widows. Anyone who has lost someone no matter how has the right to be recognized.

deleted_user 09/13/2011

Thank you for your post! I agree with you 100%. As widows, we're supposed to suddenly HEAL UP and get on with our lives. Well, I'm sorry but it doesn't work like that in the real world.

My husband has been gone over 10 years -- the same year as 9/11. In fact the 9/11 tragedy happened on my husband's birthday -- the first one I spent without him.

Yes, I've stopped grieving -- I can think of him now with smiles and laugh at some of the things we did. But I still miss him terribly, and always will.

Again, thanks for the post. I wish you much healing & peace of mind. God bless. Hugs, Lee

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