Its been almost 2 months for me and yes I cry, I talk to him, I wonder why him. I hear you so loud and clear about the weekends. I try to keep busy but my heart isn't into the "projects" we had on our to do list. I've tried doing some painting on the house, cutting the molding that wasn't finished and other odd jobs. I'm not a real shopper so going to the mall isn't what I want to do and being at home is so very lonely. If it wasn't for my 3 lab dogs, I think I'd go crazy. They give me a reason to come home every night (but then again where else would I go?). hugs Arlene

Yes I understand about the weekends. I used to so look forward to them now I usually start crying when I get in the car each night and again in the morning when I get up. Keeping busy is the only thing that works for me as well. I found a good friend to talk to and do things with but it is so hard when you are alone.

I know JUST HOW YOU FEEL! Those first months are so very hard, and the weekends are horrible. This happened to me 7 yrs. ago, and I was retired at the time. My husband also had leukemia; he was 72 when diagnosed and lived 2 yrs. It is a very tough disease.

The first year after losing your spouse is hard -- you will have many ups and downs. You will find out that all of your feelings are "normal" after being on this site for a while. Whatever you are experiencing, someone else has also. I hope you have family and friends close by for a support system. However, you will find that people who are not widowed don't quite understand how we feel.

I lived in BR in my younger days; moved to the Jackson, MS area in 1973. I grew up in Hammond, so that part of LA is home to me.

Wishing you peace - Doye

I was a lot worse at 3 months or 6 months than I was in the beginning. People react different.

Its been almost 9 months for me.. its really starting to sink in.. Last week was horrd for me.. You are definitely no alone. It will take a long time for our brain to comprehend and your heart to accept the reality that our sweet loves are not to return on this earth. I do believe I will get to see my husband when It is my time to not be here physically anymore,but for now, I'm pushing forward, and I know my sean would be proud of me. I know he would be asking, did you eat today, have you gotten any rest, don't worry, it'll all work out, and to have some fun once in awhile. Its so hard to remember that when your just so lost without your sweet husband/wife. Much love carla

I think that is completely normal. I am almost at 4 months and i can honestly say the tears flow more frequently the last few weeks than they did last month or even the month before. I think it is just the shock slowly wearing off and the sadness of reality setting in. Hugs to you.

almost 7 months here, and this month is getting harder than any.
shock probably protected me more than I realized at first.
So sorry for your loss.
HUGS.

I think the fact of what happened takes time to set in. We have lost so much more than a husband or wife. We lost our partner in life, the one we depended on, the one who was there for us to share happiness and sorrow. With each new moment we feel the loss. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you find some comfort with being with others who are going through the same emotions. Sharon

It's normal from what I experienced. Each day is another dose of reality that you can ignore less and less. You put on a brave front, even for yourself you do this at first. For me the crying changed to more frequently, then less frequently but more intensity. I would often lie on the couch with a cold compress on my eyes after crying, it was comforting. Staying busy helps and great job on handling the workweek.

Debrus...... Oh no your not alone. This is such a unwanted journey, that none of us want to be on. My love left me 17months ago & it still seems like yesterday. No I don't cry everyday as in the beginning, but emptiness and missing him is still there. I have posted the following before, but would like to share it with you.

I thought of you my love today
But that is nothing new
I thought about you yesterday & days before that too.
I think of you in silence & often speak your name
All I have are memories & your picture in a frame
Your memory is my keepsake, which I'll never part
God has you in his keeping
and I have you in my Heart

Take care JoAnn