Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I recently found out that I'm not experience clinical depression but grief as told to me by my psychiatric nurse practioner a few days ago. My husband died nearly 2 years ago. He wasn't just a spouse but a friend, too. He had cancer. When he was sick his family and maybe a friend would visit with him for several hours. This didn't bother me because I knew they want spend time with him. What did bother me was that they pushed me aside and couple of rude comments at my expense were made. His son and daughter-in-law were his caregivers which I didn't want them living at our place at first because it's small but then I saw what a good job they were doing with him so I was ok with it. The daughter-in-law said they would help go through his stuff and help with garage sale. this didn't happen. The day after my husband died everyone disapeared except for my teenage son from my 1st marriage(divorce). No one came over and don't remember any calls. FB messages, yes.
His family continued to ignored me and/or be rude to me. His son who caring for him, stole from me.
I was very hurt and angry at them for over a year about this. I ended up taking it out on my husband's memory because I was angry about they way treated me.
This year, when Feb. came, I started getting depressed because of Valentine's day(he wasn't he to my Valentine) and his birthday is on Feb. 23rd. I started to feel better when my 1st husband's youngest bother died of a heart attack. He was only 41. I wasn't close with him but I immediately though of his wife and devastation she must feel. I feel terrible for him and my 2 nieces. Since then I've been a wreck. It is now May and my husband died on May 21st. It will be the second anniversary of his passing.
I spoke to my dad about this yesterday. The same thing happened to him after my mom passed away. The grief hit him a year or more later. It is amazing that grief me about the same length of time as did for my father.
Having bp makes grieving even tougher. I've been really anxious scared of another crisis happening. I fear for my loved ones safety because I don't want anything terrible to happen to them. I'm so afraid of back news right now because I don't think I could handle it.
I don't know how my grief will last. I wish I could get back to feel like my more stable self.
His family continued to ignored me and/or be rude to me. His son who caring for him, stole from me.
I was very hurt and angry at them for over a year about this. I ended up taking it out on my husband's memory because I was angry about they way treated me.
This year, when Feb. came, I started getting depressed because of Valentine's day(he wasn't he to my Valentine) and his birthday is on Feb. 23rd. I started to feel better when my 1st husband's youngest bother died of a heart attack. He was only 41. I wasn't close with him but I immediately though of his wife and devastation she must feel. I feel terrible for him and my 2 nieces. Since then I've been a wreck. It is now May and my husband died on May 21st. It will be the second anniversary of his passing.
I spoke to my dad about this yesterday. The same thing happened to him after my mom passed away. The grief hit him a year or more later. It is amazing that grief me about the same length of time as did for my father.
Having bp makes grieving even tougher. I've been really anxious scared of another crisis happening. I fear for my loved ones safety because I don't want anything terrible to happen to them. I'm so afraid of back news right now because I don't think I could handle it.
I don't know how my grief will last. I wish I could get back to feel like my more stable self.
dschwartz
Oh Jenn . . I'm so very sorry to hear that you are still struggling with grief. Everyone's healing time line is different. It sounds like you lost not only your husband, but part of your family bonds as well, compounding your original grief. Hopefully between joining us here and your therapist you will find some brighter days ahead. I will be sending prayers and healing thoughts your way. Hugs, Dayna
Shrn
Great is hard and having someone to understand is important. I'm glad you are talking about it with your medical team and have found us. We do understand the loss you've experienced and are here to listen. Sharon
Shrn
Sorry for the error, grief is hard. Sharon
JennS
thank you and hugs.
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