Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I have been a member of the Bipolar Disorder group on DS for several years. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II when I was 30, but things were very wrong since I was at least 13. I lost jobs serially in my 20s, and then I was so sick I couldn't work for a few years. I'm much better now, taking minimal medication and making sure I do things that support mental health, like a regular sleep schedule and playing my guitar, seeing friends. I co-facilitate a mood disorders peer support group I have been going to for years, and of course there is peer support here on DS.
I was wondering if anybody else in Widows & Widowers has a diagnosis of Bipolar or Depression, or Schizo-affective Disorder, another major mood disorder? How have your grief and moods interacted?
I expected depression. It's normal. My wife was a psychotherapist. She said most of her patients who were depressed were reacting to terrible overall circumstances, or something bad happening. She said chronic mood disorders, like mine, are very different, and often the mood swings don't even have triggers, they can be caused by brain chemistry. I agree with that.
Sometimes I don't even realize I am depressed, it happens so regularly. I have learned to cope and function anyway. In late February, one day I suddenly felt better than I had been, and I thought, "Huh, I must have been really depressed for the last few weeks."
Dealing with the depression from grief, in a way I had already learned to cope with it. I already knew that it is painful, but it passes. I took a couple of days off from work when it was really bad. I told my manager, my wife died a few weeks ago, I'm upset, I need a day off. It was ok.
I'm not saying any of this is easier for me, or affects me less. We know everybody reacts in their own way.
I'm just curious if anybody else had any experience with clinical depression before losing their spouse, and how does that influence how you are coping with grief?
I was wondering if anybody else in Widows & Widowers has a diagnosis of Bipolar or Depression, or Schizo-affective Disorder, another major mood disorder? How have your grief and moods interacted?
I expected depression. It's normal. My wife was a psychotherapist. She said most of her patients who were depressed were reacting to terrible overall circumstances, or something bad happening. She said chronic mood disorders, like mine, are very different, and often the mood swings don't even have triggers, they can be caused by brain chemistry. I agree with that.
Sometimes I don't even realize I am depressed, it happens so regularly. I have learned to cope and function anyway. In late February, one day I suddenly felt better than I had been, and I thought, "Huh, I must have been really depressed for the last few weeks."
Dealing with the depression from grief, in a way I had already learned to cope with it. I already knew that it is painful, but it passes. I took a couple of days off from work when it was really bad. I told my manager, my wife died a few weeks ago, I'm upset, I need a day off. It was ok.
I'm not saying any of this is easier for me, or affects me less. We know everybody reacts in their own way.
I'm just curious if anybody else had any experience with clinical depression before losing their spouse, and how does that influence how you are coping with grief?
I feel like I've rambled a bit, hope this answers your questions - was sort of thinking out loud as I typed.