It is normal I think, the shock of it is starting to wear out and now you start feeing the pain in a more acute way. That`s the way it was for me. Go go go , keep busy and do good and then around the 7-8 months mark I felt apart. It was also at the time when I started bereavement group and allowed myself to feel.

The weather has got me down, I got 6 inches solid ice at my door. Tennessee has closed down. My little town closed down. Even the quick stop and the dollar store.

I think that it is probably both. You can't get out-unless it is to shovel. And the numbness is wearing off and reality is slowly starting to settle in. I know it is for me. I am about a month behind you lost Don in October. Gentle (((HUGS))) my friend .

I thought my Year of Hell was over when 2014 rolled around. I was doing good, until the snow blower broke. From that point, every snow storm that the weather man announced, just made me worry how I was going to get our driveway open.

Every task, repair, seems so much worst, because I don't have the support around me. So like you, I am experiencing sadness.

Hang-in there. Spring is right around the corner. Spring brings rejuvenation of life and hope. It's only a few days away.

Bandi - yes, the weather certainly contributes, I think. But I want to speak to something else you said. Your feelings are not textbook, nor will they follow any logical pattern. You make progress, you feel better - then bammo! But, my dear, the bammo doesn't negate the progress. I mean this! Working through grief is like peeling an onion - as you go on different layers are exposed, and thus addressed and dealt with at that point. Or not dealt with at that particular point. More like identified. That's ok, too. Am I being too Yoda-like here? Hugs - Marsha

This winter has been unreal hasn't it? I swear I am moving to someplace where they still make decent winters.
Yoda is right on the money. :) You know how they have those maps in malls, you are here X? so instantly you know exactly where you are and can see the way to the store where you heard they have nice shoes. On sale. Grief is not like that. It's a very long trip, and a scenic route with multiple pit stops in disgusting washrooms, lots of ditches, etc. (excuse the rampant metaphor abuse) Anyways, the point is that it's all progress. No matter how many ditches you hit, you are moving closer to your destination and it's all done at your own pace. The trick isn't to move through the valley of despair at breakneck speed, it's to take as much time as you need, even revisit some parts you didn't like one bit, like the taco stand that gave you food poisoning, and ultimately just try not to stay long enough to erect a condo in the valley.
I am sorry about the rough patch you've hit, I remember being surprised by unexpected knock downs, and feeling I was losing ground, but I wasn't, & you aren't. Brighter sunnier days are ahead. Take good care. ((()))

Those grief waves can be triggered by so many things. Objects, places, songs, seeing other happy couples, and these dark Winter days surely do not help, as you mentioned. I am just coming out of a rather deep valley. Just as Rainycreek described so very well, the progress I had made was still there, waiting for me to resume moving forward. Each time you fall, you get back up a little more determined, and a bit more battle hardened. The determination not to be defeated, grows. The desire for life, and a return of interest in the passions that previously defined who you are, begin to emerge. We may stumble again tomorrow, but ultimately, it only strengthens us further, as we rise to our feet, and give grief the one finger salute it so richly deserves. We will prevail. Life will be ours once again. Keep fighting, Spring is coming, and so is victory my friend.
Robert

Both. but I like Roberts attitude on this.

"We will prevail. Life will be ours once again. Keep fighting, Spring is coming, and so is victory my friend."
Robert "

Today I helped a family with answers with a cancer much like my John's. Only a tear slipped once. But they are very close to me, and their baby is six months.

We talked about all kinds of things that they forget at the doctor's office...I know that feeling well.

For me that is a sign of growth, even if the violets are late showing up.

The walk through grief is a long one with many ups and downs. It is often referred to as a roller coaster ride. Just when you think you are on top you then get plunged to the bottom again without warning. It's a wild ride.

The good news is that the longer you are on this roller coaster you find that the downward plunges happen less often and the ride evens out a bit.

On 3/28 I will have hit the 3rd year mark. I still have some nasty downward spirals. The good thing is that they are less often and I stay down for a shorter period of time.

Please hang on. Wishing you healing and comfort.